The Congress Floor Song

(H/T Steve Foley)

Alan "The Boy Who Cried 'Wolf!'" Grayson decided to make a spectacle of himself on the house floor:

Then, when Republicans asked him to apologize (since he was lying hisfreakin' ass off), he responded with this:

In his honor, I've composedrewritten a little song:

The Congress Floor Song

(to the tune of David Allan Coe's "The Rodeo Song")

Well it's 40 below and I don't give a fuck,
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the Congress floor

It's the AARP left and the mob to the right
Come on you fuckin' dummy get your goose step right
Get off stage you god damn goof you know

You piss me off, you fuckin' jerk
You get on my nerves

Here comes Alan with his pecker in his hand,
He's a one term man and he's off to the Congress floor

It's SEIU left and domestic terrorists right
Come on you fuckin' dummy get your goose step right
Get off stage you god damn goof you know

You piss me off, you One Term jerk
You get on my nerves

Well it's 40 below and I ain't got a truck
and I don't give a fuck 'cause I'm off to the Congress floor

Where it's ACORN left and hands off! right
Come on you fuckin' dummy get your goose step right
Get off stage you god damn goof you know

You piss me off, you fuckin' jerk
You get on my nerves

Here comes Alan with his pecker in his hand,
He's a one ball man and he's off to the Congress floor

It's the DNC left and the GOP right
Come on you fuckin' dummy get your goose step right
Get off stage you god damn goof you know

You piss me off, you fuckin' jerk
You get on my nerves

Read more...

Perez Hilton: Oh No You Didn't, Barack Obama

This is a guest post from Perez Hilton, I think. All I know is he smelled like Pina Coladas and tried to kiss me when he gave me a DVD with this article on it.

Barack Obama must have gone loco from sleeping in the same room that that kookoo-for-cocopuffs George W. Bush used to sleep in, because he opened his trap to say something extremely rude in an interview the other day.

He said: "Kanye West is a jackass."

And we think there are just some politicos who spend all their time golfing and eating certified Japanese Wagyu beef because they are in over their head.

Just saying!

We give him credit because he knew he had done wrong, and so this morning he issued an apology to all our beautiful jackasses.

Obama says:

"I would like to issue an apology for the comments I made. My intent was to be humorous and not offensive. I have nothing but love and respect for jackasses in general of all cultural backgrounds. What saddens me most is that it took away from the issue of Health Insurance Reform in America, which is all I think about day and night except when I'm thinking about golf or Wagyu beef. I once visited a food pantry in the White House kitchen and told them to send all the American beef to feed the homeless. American beef isn't as exceptional as that delicious Wagyu beef from Japan. Anyway I work with many jackasses, not least among them Rahm Emmanuel. I didn't intend to tar them with Kanye West, since clearly he is in a different class from the typical jackass."

Isn't it interesting that living in the White House qualifies a person to claim to be surrounded by jackasses? Huh.

Do U think his statement is sincere? Or is he just being a jackass?

Read more...