Jackass, Countdown, what's the diff?

For what it's worth, I can't tell the difference between Steve-O and Olbermann anyway. Who can?!

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Fact Check douchebags conveniently 'forget' that Death Panel was already passed in the Porkulus

The AP and the NYT were right, much as it galls me to say. Sarah Palin didn't identify all the death panels in legislation passed this year. The main death panel legislation, with $1.1 Billion in funding, was passed in the gigantic H.R.1 Porkulus bill that was rushed through legislation and unread by anyone, because it was too effing important. The National Coordinator of Health Information Technology sounds like a reasonable enough job, but it is another effing new, un-constitutional czar position that defines, monitors and enforces doctors' and hospitals' meaningful use of the newly created federal medical information database. HHS is the punishing authority that gets to define the penalties.

Did you notice that this bill created a bunch of appointed positions and boards that have total control over all medical care for everyone in the US, with the exception of federal government employees and certain unions? None of the responsible positions are elected ones because elected politicians, other than me, are effing pussies who are afraid to make a hard decision and take the heat. Have you ever heard of an elected politician who denies that new hip to granny? Hell no! What the elected politician does is talk up a good story about how much he values granny, pushes an expensive experimental procedure on her, and then once the bill comes due the pol rants about how much effing money the thieving doctors and hospitals charged the government.

That's about the effing size of it.

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Do not have sex with Kate White

In what is clearly an idea whose time has come, Kate White, who whines endlessly about "Relationship Angst", started a new series about why you, yes you, should not have sex with her. For some reason, she complains all the way through the column about how some guy who stuck his videos up on YouTube is a douchebag. I guess she is trying to give you, the reader, the full Kate White sexperience, complete with being called a douchebag for leaving the toilet seat up. You know, Kate, I got the idea. You are right. No one in his right mind should have sex with you.

Next up, Maureen Dowd. No one should have sex with her either. But while she is a (bottle?) redhead, just like Kate White, she may not be smart enough to realize that she should write a column about how any beer-goggled horndog who shags her will soon be listening to his purple headed, throbbing love katana begging to be chopped off and thrown in a gasoline fire before once again being tortured within the loins of Dowd. But, as any sensible reader will no doubt agree, that is in fact what any self-respecting tallywhacker would do.

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