04 October 2010

Latest Gossip from unnamed sources at the Capitol Building

When I was walking down the Capitol Steps tonight the director of Charlie Rangel's office was walking a heifer up the steps. I asked him what he was doing with a cow at the Capital. Was he playing a joke on someone?

"No," he said, "I got Bessie for the milk."

"You're going to have a cow in Rangel's offices," I observed.

"Yeah, her name's Bessie."

"Isn't that gross?"

"What do you mean?"

"What about the shit and the flies?" I asked.

"Bessie can get used to them," he answered.

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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