I will always remember what I was doing when I heard that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize: Taking a Crap

Ah, morning. With the window shut against hated pollen, I was sitting, more like slouching, eyes encrusted with sleep, mouth feeling as fuzzy as if I had unknowingly eaten the cat overnight, on the porcelain throne. I surveyed the damnable scale and the off-white painted wall beyond it. I was listening to the clock-radio and slowly waking up when I heard it. I'm sure that many of you, my deranged readers had the same experience on this most historic of all mornings, the morning that the One, The Messiah, Lord Barack Hussein Milhous Yasser bin Obama the Most Merciful, Prince of Hyde Park and Emperor of Ice Cream had finally won the award for which he had labored so much and waited so long, the Nobel/Arafat/Carter/Gore/memeorandum Peace Prize.

Oh blissful bliss of rectitude, out from my relaxed and serene rectum popped a blessed turd. And it was good. Really good.

So what were you doing when you heard the news? Taking a crap like me? Pissing? Gargling the Listerine around your epiglottis? Whatever you were doing, I hope you also have a blessed turd to show for it like I do, and like Obama who so totally deserved to get a Nobel Peace Prize because of having two fronts open in a hot war against global terrorist assholes, and keeping the captured terrorist assholes in a sunny and pleasant paradise far away from horrid plaintiff's lawyers from the communist ACLU.

Update: Linked by Director Blue

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So this is what 52% of the vote looks like

More like 52% of the buffet line.

Ladies, or gentlemen, or transgendered, WTF you are. I really can't tell. Pat? Sandy? Chris? Dale? I need to see your union cards to confirm that you are SEIU before I can validate your parking.

C'mon, fess up. This is what Axlerod signature Astro-Turf looks like.

Read Ace's comments. They are a riot!

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Support the Gormogons GIVASHIT Act of 2009 to shine a light on QUANGOs

A QUANGO is a quasi-autonomous non-governmental-organization. It is a fascist combination of government and private non-profit that does the dirty work of government insiders without being exposed to public oversight. They are pretty awful, no matter what their supposed portfolio.

Ghettoputer has a really good idea for an amendment to get added onto a bill the next time some progressive douchebag QUANGO like ACORN or SEIU or or Fannie Mae or the new GM or the fricking FED gets exposed to sunlight and makes everyone throw up in their mouth a little. Sure, ACORN got a wedgie this week, but they had already changed their name to COI. Does the ban apply to the new name of the stinkpit? What about other QUANGOs?

insist Democrats support 'Puter's Government Investment Verification and Accountability, Sustainability, Healthcare, Information and Transparency Act of 2009 ("GIVASHIT").

GIVASHIT requires any entity (public, private or charitable) that receives more than a set percentage of its operating budget ('Puter would say 10%, but Republicans should settle for 50%) from any government entity (federal, state or local) (1) be subject to the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act and (2) submit audited financial statements annually, available for public inspection. Affiliates of any covered entity would also be subject to GIVASHIT's provisions. The only exceptions to covered entities would be based upon national security considerations.

GIVASHIT will prevent waste, fraud and abuse of government funds by making each American a private attorney general, with authority to investigate publicly funded entities on his own through judicious use of FOIA. And if covered entities don't like the accoutnability, they can opt out from coverage by refusing to accept government funds. It's a win-win.

Do you GIVASHIT about shining a light on QUANGOs? I GIVASHIT abuot exposing QUANGOs. Everyone should all get together and GIVASHIT together!

Um... no takeashits though! That would be taking it too far.

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SEIU calls ACORN Pimps and Hos, Raises with a Kiddie Porn collecting Child Molester

What would be unbelievable for almost any organization other than this gang of thieves, is what you expect for SEIU.

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