Barack Obama graduated at the bottom of his class at University

Not many folks know that Barack Obama attended a highly elitist university on the outskirts of Washington D.C.

You know, I probably should have interviewed Bill Clinton for this piece, cause he knows quite a bit about the outskirts of Washington D.C….but I digress……..The name of the institution is the University of Delaware Imminent Presidents School.

The UDIPS Core Curriculum was designed by liberal Democrats to educate leaders for a future society in which there is no private property and in which the means of production are owned and controlled by the state.

Development of knowledge, skills, and values that should be held in common by all graduates of the university, are tightly regulated and rationed. Oh…and no gays allowed.

The central purpose of the University core curriculum is to teach men and women economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods.

Although the UDIPS curriculum seeks to dilute and smother individual talents, its primary emphasis is in preparation for a stage of society between capitalism and communism and distinguished by unequal distribution of goods and pay.

Through their core curriculum courses, students will develop the ability to:

1. pass spending bills costing the country trillions of dollars, and wasting our national wealth.

2. reverse federal bans on abortion, thus opening the door to massive partial birth abortions and infanticide in general.

3. appoint former failed campaign contributors and tax cheats to your staff, thus exhibiting your desire to place private allegiances above properly qualified employees.

4. appoint Secretary of State’s who have no geopolitical experience, and are called upon to confront some of our world’s most dangerous dictators and settle unstable political disputes.

But whether he was ‘throwing’ the ball around by the giant pansy fountain or smoking pot in back of the library, rest assured Barry wasn’t 100% marinated in politics the whole time at UDIPS.



He had a wide range of classes and activities to choose from. And the famous Pansywaist cafeteria to ensure a heaping helping of real-world utopian grandeur.



Barry was head of the Science club…where they tried bringing back old tired ideas and legislation from the dead.



Barry was not the best student at the school and often had to stay after class to master the basic concepts.



When failing to grasp even the most fundamental of lessons, you could often find Barry trying out for team sports.

UDIPS has a good basketball program and the ‘Fighting Pansies’ always give it their all during the twice-a-year match-up with Rio Linda, it’s always a barn-burner. Actually, no, it’s not. The ‘Institute of Advanced Conservative Studies’ has dominated the series due to their star-player Rush Limbaugh, who consistently holds Barry to zero points. Limbaugh is so good that he should probably play Obama with one hand tied behind his back, just to make it fair.



He tried out for the football team at one point, but dressing out with the other guys in the locker-room was becoming a distraction….umm….do to his undisputedly large….umm….huevos?



He was actually intimidating some of the more…umm….under-nourished….players.

The UDIPS baseball coaches have put together winning teams in the past and are looking forward to another successful season playing Pansy hardball! Looks like Barry might make the team this year.



And….we’re not going to bring up that other tryout…



Not many people realize that UDIPS has Military training as a required course. It didn’t take long for folks to realize that Military ops was not a strong-suit of Obama. First he tried Flight-school…



He was failing in outdoor maneuvers and classroom tactics.



Then, he tried Paratroopers. There was a minor incident on the first jump…



Whatever the challenge, Barry just couldn’t muster enough courage to get through the tough times.



So, with a little nudging from the Dean, the Challenged Students Supervisor found Obama a course he could handle and be proud of.



Barry got to meet lots of friends and he has a special place in his year-book with messages from two of his cherished life-long buddies.



His approval-rating is in the tank but his self-esteem remains high, due to the affirmative action of a the great University of Delaware’s Imminent Presidents School. Cranking out socialist wind-bags for president since….well……..since this one.