30 March 2010

The French to the rescue?

President Obama wants France to help him turn the tide in Afghanistan.

No, don't look back. You read it right the first time. The ObaMessiah wants the help of the people who got whooped by the Germans at least three times in 70 years, then proceded to get their asses handed to them by the Vietnamese only to come running to us for help. These are the people responsible for half of the problems in the Middle East in the first place, and Teh Won wants their help?

Obama is likely to ask Sarkozy to add to France's current total of 3,750 troops, mostly trainers for the Afghan military. Of course, Bambi dithered for four months trying to figure out the politically acceptable number of troops to send to Afghanistan. Had he supplied General McCrystal with the full complement troops asked for in the first place, he might not need France's help now. Sending more American troops, after all, would be tantamount to admitting that he made a mistake not sending more back then.

And of course, the ObaMessiah is never wrong...

Bambi can't risk fracturing the already strained liberal coalition. Each constituency has their "cause du-jour". One faction wants the U.S. out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Another wants us out of Iraq but fighting the Taliban. Another couldn't care less about the war as long as Obamacare is enacted. Still more are desperate Crap & Tax, Gun Control™, punitive taxes on the rich and/or environmental regulations that send us back to the Bronze Age.

But this coalition is strained. Now they've got "their guy". He promised them he could deliver everything they wanted and pay for it with fairy farts and leprechaun snot. So they want him to make it happen, and each one wants him to make their issue his top priority. The longer he waits on their particular favorite issue, the angrier they are getting.

So he got Obamacare. Now he needs this darn pesky war to go away so he can focus on his other constituencies. So he goes to the nation that is easily his closest ideological ally: France. Y'know, the country that has been trying to enact socialism since before Marx wrote his manifesto. The country that forces people to work fewer hours to ensure artificially lower unemployment rates. The country that has riots every time a Minister of Parliament sneezes. The country that actually licenses line dance callers for "safety purposes". Yeah. France.

Now, I'm not about to say to the French, "No, you can't send your troops to Afghanistan." The more help we have killing Taliban jihadists, the better; and frankly the Foreign Legion is one good thing the French military has going for it. That said, for Teh Won to come groveling to Sarkozy for help is utterly ridiculous. The French public hate that French troops are in Afghanistan in the first place. They don't want us to succeed, or at least, not with their help.

Bambi can't swallow his pride and admit to America he was wrong. His whole political existence is built upon being right, dammit! Bambi is never wrong! Don't you know that?!?! He's never wrong! He's NEVER WRONG!!!1!11!!1!


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4 comments:

Curious,  March 30, 2010 at 6:51:00 PM EDT  

Hey Spork. Can I pay my taxes in unicorn farts and leprechaun snot? Pretty please?

Pigs in Zen March 30, 2010 at 7:12:00 PM EDT  

Great we are asking for help from the Frogs that dropped their guns faster than Slick Willy drops his pants.

We are saved.

Neil Anderthal March 30, 2010 at 11:36:00 PM EDT  

Once, during the Hundred Years War, a British Officer was captured by
the French. He spent months waiting to be ransomed by his family.
During this time he often had long chats beside the fire with his
French captor. One evening the French Officer said he had a question
that had been troubling him and he just had to ask. The British
captive replied "Go right ahead, ask."

"Why is it," asked the Frenchman, "that you British Officers all wear
red coats? Don't you know that makes you such an easily identified
target?"

"Yes we do," replied the Brit, "but there are more important reasons.
British officers must lead by example, our men rely on us. When
wearing a red coat, if an Officer is wounded, the blood is not so
noticable and the men will not become frightened."

"Ahh, I see," replied the Frenchman, "it is for the good of your
troops, very noble of you!"

That very night the Frenchman dashed off a letter by special messenger
telling the High Command of the intelligence he had gathered.

Ever since that time, French Officers have worn brown pants.

Blago Bloggo March 30, 2010 at 11:54:00 PM EDT  

Praise the Lord and pass the coq au vin! At least the food will be posh!

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