30 March 2010

Why Don't We Get Slobbering Love Letters Like This at PDBWatch?

Some douchebag named Klatu, apparently styling himself after that wonderful example of Beatles copycatting from the 70s, featuring rumors that they were secretly the reunited Beatles, that was going to be the next best thing since the Beatles, wrote a nastygram to some people I know. They don't particularly like me. I'm too retarded in my politeness for their tastes. But they did let me see this slobbering love letter from Klaatu.

He also calls himself happy boy. Pretty fricking droll, hunh?
From: Dan Klatu <vzok7@hotNOSPAMmail BOT com>
Date: Tue, Mar 30, 2010 at 6:07 PM
Subject: Thank You!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you from empowering the morons in this country. I enjoy how anger has become your currency. If toothless tea party members ran this country, it would be a faster road to not listening to the idiots who are your main voice. Don't you ever wonder why almost no one you know has a global view- of course you don't. Maybe they'll sneak off in the dead of night and get their teeth fixed under (oh no!!!) Obama care. Most people who have any balanced view just pity you. You are the pawns (look it up) of the rich and powerful. They rely on your ineptness to help fuel the rage which keeps them semi-powerful. You have the same idiot's mentality that al qaeda has. You can't see anything but what you've been fed. Wake up and travel. I'm willing to bet most of your sheep have never been out of their state let alone out of the country. We've got you figured out and you'll never go anywhere. What morons you all are.

Happy Boy
Here is my loving, considered response:

Dear Danny "Mister Happy Boy" Klaatu,

Sometimes I call a certain something "happy boy," but not in public, douchebag. Maybe your problem is that you aspired to be one of the morons in this country. It would be a huuuuuuge fricking step up from where you are now, butt nugget. Why don't you go ask George Soros, multi-billionaire hedge fund pirate and funder of all sorts of left-wing socialist-fascist-communist mouthpiece front-organizations like Schmedia Schmatters and Schmoooove-On (Yeah Right) Dot fricking Schmorg, how your lovely progressive buddies like Barry and Barney have helped him steal billions of dollars out of the wallets of Americans for the past four years, since the Democriminals took control in 2007? Yeah, your side's benefactor is picking everybody's pocket. He even robbed your wallet, you fooled and sheared Democrat sheep, and all your fellow Democrat riders on the short bus. Turns out there is a lot of money in doing that. Some friend of the American worker you are, drinking the chief money vampire's hateraid and chomping his chocohate chip cookies and acting like the Tea Party gang are the haters, while he robs you blind.

And that is what I think about you, Mister Happy Boy, or should I really be calling you Mister Softee?

Your mortal enemypal,
Bloggo Baggins

p.s. You are a serious douchebag. Get some professional help.

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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