01 April 2010

Democrats this stupid might forget to breathe

The only thing worse than an ideologically stupid Democrat is an old ideologically stupid Democrat, like Hank here;



His "concern" is "...that the whole island may become so overly populated that it will tip over and capsize."

Admiral Robert Willard, being questioned by dipshit du jour Hank Johnson, shows how he got to be Admiral, by not laughing hysterically at congressional dumbasses and some of their more stupid "concerns".

Remember, these dumbasses think they're smarter than you.

So shut up.

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30 March 2010

Why Don't We Get Slobbering Love Letters Like This at PDBWatch?

Some douchebag named Klatu, apparently styling himself after that wonderful example of Beatles copycatting from the 70s, featuring rumors that they were secretly the reunited Beatles, that was going to be the next best thing since the Beatles, wrote a nastygram to some people I know. They don't particularly like me. I'm too retarded in my politeness for their tastes. But they did let me see this slobbering love letter from Klaatu.

He also calls himself happy boy. Pretty fricking droll, hunh?
From: Dan Klatu <vzok7@hotNOSPAMmail BOT com>
Date: Tue, Mar 30, 2010 at 6:07 PM
Subject: Thank You!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you from empowering the morons in this country. I enjoy how anger has become your currency. If toothless tea party members ran this country, it would be a faster road to not listening to the idiots who are your main voice. Don't you ever wonder why almost no one you know has a global view- of course you don't. Maybe they'll sneak off in the dead of night and get their teeth fixed under (oh no!!!) Obama care. Most people who have any balanced view just pity you. You are the pawns (look it up) of the rich and powerful. They rely on your ineptness to help fuel the rage which keeps them semi-powerful. You have the same idiot's mentality that al qaeda has. You can't see anything but what you've been fed. Wake up and travel. I'm willing to bet most of your sheep have never been out of their state let alone out of the country. We've got you figured out and you'll never go anywhere. What morons you all are.

Happy Boy
Here is my loving, considered response:

Dear Danny "Mister Happy Boy" Klaatu,

Sometimes I call a certain something "happy boy," but not in public, douchebag. Maybe your problem is that you aspired to be one of the morons in this country. It would be a huuuuuuge fricking step up from where you are now, butt nugget. Why don't you go ask George Soros, multi-billionaire hedge fund pirate and funder of all sorts of left-wing socialist-fascist-communist mouthpiece front-organizations like Schmedia Schmatters and Schmoooove-On (Yeah Right) Dot fricking Schmorg, how your lovely progressive buddies like Barry and Barney have helped him steal billions of dollars out of the wallets of Americans for the past four years, since the Democriminals took control in 2007? Yeah, your side's benefactor is picking everybody's pocket. He even robbed your wallet, you fooled and sheared Democrat sheep, and all your fellow Democrat riders on the short bus. Turns out there is a lot of money in doing that. Some friend of the American worker you are, drinking the chief money vampire's hateraid and chomping his chocohate chip cookies and acting like the Tea Party gang are the haters, while he robs you blind.

And that is what I think about you, Mister Happy Boy, or should I really be calling you Mister Softee?

Your mortal enemypal,
Bloggo Baggins

p.s. You are a serious douchebag. Get some professional help.

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The French to the rescue?

President Obama wants France to help him turn the tide in Afghanistan.

No, don't look back. You read it right the first time. The ObaMessiah wants the help of the people who got whooped by the Germans at least three times in 70 years, then proceded to get their asses handed to them by the Vietnamese only to come running to us for help. These are the people responsible for half of the problems in the Middle East in the first place, and Teh Won wants their help?

Obama is likely to ask Sarkozy to add to France's current total of 3,750 troops, mostly trainers for the Afghan military. Of course, Bambi dithered for four months trying to figure out the politically acceptable number of troops to send to Afghanistan. Had he supplied General McCrystal with the full complement troops asked for in the first place, he might not need France's help now. Sending more American troops, after all, would be tantamount to admitting that he made a mistake not sending more back then.

And of course, the ObaMessiah is never wrong...

Bambi can't risk fracturing the already strained liberal coalition. Each constituency has their "cause du-jour". One faction wants the U.S. out of Iraq and Afghanistan. Another wants us out of Iraq but fighting the Taliban. Another couldn't care less about the war as long as Obamacare is enacted. Still more are desperate Crap & Tax, Gun Control™, punitive taxes on the rich and/or environmental regulations that send us back to the Bronze Age.

But this coalition is strained. Now they've got "their guy". He promised them he could deliver everything they wanted and pay for it with fairy farts and leprechaun snot. So they want him to make it happen, and each one wants him to make their issue his top priority. The longer he waits on their particular favorite issue, the angrier they are getting.

So he got Obamacare. Now he needs this darn pesky war to go away so he can focus on his other constituencies. So he goes to the nation that is easily his closest ideological ally: France. Y'know, the country that has been trying to enact socialism since before Marx wrote his manifesto. The country that forces people to work fewer hours to ensure artificially lower unemployment rates. The country that has riots every time a Minister of Parliament sneezes. The country that actually licenses line dance callers for "safety purposes". Yeah. France.

Now, I'm not about to say to the French, "No, you can't send your troops to Afghanistan." The more help we have killing Taliban jihadists, the better; and frankly the Foreign Legion is one good thing the French military has going for it. That said, for Teh Won to come groveling to Sarkozy for help is utterly ridiculous. The French public hate that French troops are in Afghanistan in the first place. They don't want us to succeed, or at least, not with their help.

Bambi can't swallow his pride and admit to America he was wrong. His whole political existence is built upon being right, dammit! Bambi is never wrong! Don't you know that?!?! He's never wrong! He's NEVER WRONG!!!1!11!!1!

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23 March 2010

Separated at Birth




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15 March 2010

Joke: The Priest's last wish

In Washington DC an old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital.

He motioned for his nurse to come near. “Yes, Father?” said the nurse.

“I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest.

“I’ll see what I can do, Father”, replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to The House and Senate waited for a response. Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Reid commented to Pelosi, “This certainly will help our images and might even get me re-elected.”

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Reid’s hand in his right hand and Pelosi’s hand in his left.

Nancy Pelosi asked: “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. And so since Jesus died between two lying thieving bastards, I would like to do the same!”

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02 March 2010

The True Voice of Obama Revealed at Last

From all signs, Resident Obama's real voice is not the mellifluous baritone with which we are so familiar from his 450 or so public speeches in 2009. In reality, it's more of a nasal, high-pitched north-side Chicago accent.


Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech


Check it out, check-it-outers (props to RedEye)

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01 March 2010

Barack Obama will be admitted to Celebrity Rehab

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18 February 2010

Hey, where are all the black people at?

Keith "Worst Douchebag in the World" Olbermann wants to know where all the black people are.



Keith, just so you know, they are at tea parties getting beaten up by SEIU thugs and having their skin cropped cropped out of the shot by racist network news editors.

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15 February 2010

An interview goes very wrong

Keith Olbermann meets a hostile interview: Joe Average Voter.

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04 February 2010

Robot Bartender

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168". The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says," What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about NASCAR, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50." The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

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The Promised Land

Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel " pick up your shovel, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the promised land".

Nearly 75 years ago, Roosevelt said, " Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a camel, this is the promised land".

Now Obama has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of camels, and mortgaged the promised land.

Furthermore, I was so depressed last night thinking about Health Care Plans, the economy, the wars, lost jobs, Savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc . . . I called Lifeline, the suicide help line. Got a freakin' call center in Karachi Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal.



They all got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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Zinn is Everywhere

Howeird Zinn was a religious fanatic, and a bad historian. A religious fanatic, you say? But how is that possible? He was a communist, an atheist, a secular humanist, an anarchist, anything but religious.

Yes, he was. Those are religions too. Even socialism.

There is this to be said in behalf of avowed and doctrinaire
socialists, that their faith in the State is sublime. To them, the
institution of political power is the unerring shepherd of the flock,
the guide to the Good Society; it is also the antidote for all evil,
the maker of abundance, the embodiment of justice, the sublimation of
human aspirations. That they believe. To be sure, they affect an
elaborate rationalism, something they call dialectical materialism,
which in turn rests on a verbal agglomeration known as Marxian
economics. Logic and fact without end have been applied to these
notions to prove that they are only notions. But all this cerebration
has turned out to be sheer waste of effort as far as influencing the
true worshipers is concerned. They still believe. One cannot help but
marvel at, and admire, their devotional integrity.

The religion of socialism will come into its own, its devotees maintain, only when the devil worship of capitalism is done in.

Poor Howeird Zinn. I hope he enjoys his new job as Satan's inverted umbrella stand.

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03 February 2010

DOJ Now With Even More Kafkaesque

In case Eric Holder's Department of Justice isn't Kafkaesque enough, with dropping clear-cut cases of voter intimidation that had already been won against New Black Panthers who were filmed outside a polling place swinging nightsticks and telling white people not to vote there, prosecuting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in a civilian criminal court in New Fricking York for waging war against the United States, sending Elian Gonzalez back to the communist hellhole of Cuba (yes, Holder was the one), and refusing to pursue charges against ACORN, guess what? It can get even more Kafkaesque.
Justice is advertising for prospective trial attorneys in its Civil Rights Division. The ad specifically says that the department encourages applicants who suffer from “mental retardation” and “mental illness.” It is one thing to accommodate those with illnesses that do not otherwise render them unfit to serve in a highly demanding and elite corps of DOJ attorneys; but to seek out those who are “mentally retarded” for special consideration is certainly novel.
Here is the screenshot for your non-progressive eyes to see. Progressives will not need to see evidence with their eyes. They process every vying truth claim through their ideology lobe instead of using common sense and getting the facts straight.


So it is possible that the DOJ could send a mentally ill, mentally retarded, completely paralyzed, blind, and deaf attorney with dwarfism and gigantism out to pursue a RICO case against ACORN and SEIU.

...

Suddenly it doesn't seem quite so unexpected...

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26 January 2010

Barack Obama Reads My Pet Goat











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22 January 2010

Resident Obama knows Healthcare

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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