25 September 2009

Nancy Napoleonosi: Bad Blue Dogs! No Biscuit!

Much to my happy surprise, Nancy Napoleonosi deigned to mandate another interview with her. Once again it started like this.

The Empress of San Francisco, Lady Protector of the Golden Gate, Patroness of the Teabaggers Guild and Salad Tossers Guild of the Castro District, High Druidess of the Golden Gate Park, Warden of Haight Crimes, Lady Nancy Napoleonosi, appears before you to bestow upon you an immeasurably valuable nugget of her wisdom.

Hearken and learn, oh ye bitter clinging douchebags of the outlying provinces. Open your provincial proletarian ears and listen to your betters when they deign to grace you with their superior aristocratic wit, you proletarian half-wits.

Then the Empress spake.

Pelosi (Douchebag-Califreakylvania.) rejected the idea of a “trigger” for a public option. That means that the government-run healthcare plan would be a fallback option, enacted only if other reforms didn’t make healthcare more accessible.

“I don't even want to talk about a trigger,” Pelosi said at her weekly press conference. She said the “attitude” of her fellow Democrats is that “a trigger is an excuse for not doing anything.”

She then turned and left the room, but not before stabbing me in the thigh with an ornately carved dagger. As I writhed in pain on the floor, she muttered in satisfaction, "I'm ready for you, Blanche Lincoln, you bitch!"

h/t: bluegrass pundit


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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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