30 September 2009

Rectum? It destroyed him!

In August, the head of Saudi Arabia's counter-terrorism forces was almost killed by a terrorist ass-bomber who had pretended to be ready to rat out his al Qaeda comrades. Several Saudi secret service agents were killed. Imagine the scene after the explosion with body parts scattered about, the smell of blood and cordite, and the cries of the dying. How did it happen?

Inside a Saudi palace, the scene was the bloody aftermath of an al Qaeda attack in August aimed at killing Prince Mohammed Bin Nayef, head of Saudi Arabia's counter terrorism operations.

To get his bomb into this room, Abdullah Asieri, one of Saudi Arabia's most wanted men, avoided detection by two sets of airport security including metal detectors and palace security. He spent 30 hours in the close company of the prince's own secret service agents - all without anyone suspecting a thing.

How did he do it?

Taking a trick from the narcotics trade - which has long smuggled drugs in body cavities - Asieri had a pound of high explosives, plus a detonator inserted in his rectum. (emphasis mine)
How did he do it?...

Hope n'Change's Stilton Jarlsberg has a great cartoon that speculates on what TSA will do to make air travel even less bearable. Yes, they are guaranteed to do something depressing and degrading to everybody except the long-bearded young men who look like the motherfucker who stuffed a live bomb up his rectum. But let's not go there yet, though you, being a typical reader, and thus totally in control of our interaction, may do whatever the frak you want.

Maybe I should say that I won't go there yet. Because I'm awesome. And because the article never answered the question of how he did it.

How Did He Do It, Blago?

Look at the bold text. He did it by social engineering his way into the prince's presence. The terrorist asshole did it by conning people who should have known better that he had changed his ways. Even though he was the most wanted terrorist teabagger in a kingdom full of terrorists and terrorist sympathizers, he convinced them he was really misunderstood and was ready to join with the good guys against the forces of evil and corruption. IOW it was a confidence trick.

The Prince and his men could have easily stuck Asieri into a cinderblock jail and left him there. Or they could have x-rayed his ass and the rest of him as well. Or they could have done just about anything other than bringing him right to the Prince's presence. It makes you wonder if one of the secret service agents was collaborating with the ass-bomber. It seems just too frikking easy, doesn't it?

That's how he did it. He conned them. He was a fucking al Qaeda conman with a bomb up his bunghole. They fell for it.

The Prince's men fell for it. Maybe the Prince did too.

Anyway, what should the TSA do? Backscatter X-Rays. It's about time. And it will let us wear our shoes and belts through the checking stations. So what if the guards see through our clothes? That's just too bad, and if people who like to hide under giant black sacks are driven out of the air travel marketplace, all the better.

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Anonymous,  September 30, 2009 at 10:40:00 PM EDT  

I believe this terrorist was using the Lex Steele version of a TATP Bomb


Gives new meaning to the term "Trojan bomber"!

Damn Dirty Terrorists! >:)

Blago Bloggo October 1, 2009 at 12:29:00 AM EDT  

Yeah I heard a lot of al Qaeda terrorists were totally into the super-promiscuous gay lifestyle. I'm sure they're well acquainted with Lex Steele style tallywhackers and find the bunghole a comfortable place to carry their hard drugs and explosives.

Cameltoad October 1, 2009 at 8:50:00 PM EDT  

"Failed terrorist Abdullah Asieri shows off the one-pound bomb
he jammed up his ass in a desperate final attempt to meet girls in the afterlife.
"It wasn't hard," Abdullah said of the insertion. "The camels had prepared me.""

I bet it was more than camels. Uncle Mohammad-Bob, not to mention his cousin-daddy had him well prepared.
"You shore got a purty mouth, Abdul..."

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