03 September 2009

The seven politicians you should never see on TV, Scene 2

This is the second installment of this series. Do you remember what the second word of George Carlin's timeless routine is?

Well, today you're in for something special....because Aunt Flo is Piss. My friends call me pissed. And I can guarantee you never want to see me as a politician or on television. I am much too, what do you say...inflammatory

I've seen your Glenn Beck and Hannity.

I've seen your Bill O'Reilly and Greta.

Some folks say those first two are, shall we say, overly animated. Some folks say that BillO doesn't reflect well on Conservatives. Some folks say we should have a kinder, gentler disposition like Greta. Some folks completely buy into the false liberal premise of, 'we shouldn't be the party of NO' Some folks say that Fox news represents Right-wing extremists. Well, some folks are just mindless zombies.

But this rant, like my aim, must be straight and true, and I must not digress.

So let me tell you about something that truly doesn't reflect well, the bright beam of disgrace that is MSNBC.

Can I have a witness to some of the latest walks down Fail street by MSNBC? There was, I shit you not, a "Beer Summit" countdown clock...replete with tiny little beer mugs in a graphic that was being displayed on the network's lower corner.

Next up, they've continued to ignore the need to have an actual reporter fill in for David Schuster when he disappears for numerous and long periods of time. I don't like that David takes so much time off. We need him...opening his fat trap and embarrassing himself daily on cable television.

In lieu of a journalist, MSNBC has an affliction for the slimy Hamptons barnacle and head licker of Donald Trumps ass, Donnie Deutsch...'heir douchemeister'(seen here living up to his title)

He's host of the CNBC navel-gazer "The Big Idea with Donnie Deutsch." Heir douchemeister loves himself, is highly qualified to toot his own horn and loves to see himself on TV.

Just the other day, Donnie apparently wanted to challenge Larry King for the title of "Most Disturbing and Menacing Use of Suspenders on a Cable News Broadcast."

And let's not forget Keith Olberman. Defiant Captain of MSNBC's sinking mothership and disgraced sportscaster turned poster boy for how severe BDS can severely ruin your and your employers credibility. (And he always leaves the seat up.)

Little Keith, among others, has a big stick up his craw for Dick Cheney. Turns out if Mr. Maddow doesn't bring him up every night Mr. Olberman does. They want Cheney strung up so bad that reporting on their Messiah just isn't that important anymore. Do they think we're all just interested in Dick and nothing else?

It's very uncomfortable to watch them stew in their hatred of Cheney. They've gone 'all in' for prosecutions and investigations of private citizens while their president flails around making us less safe and ruining every policy he touches.

Recently, there was a Wall Street Journal op-ed proposing that if another terrorist attack were to occur the Republican Party should run Dick Cheney for president in 2012. Olberman's response:

"How could he run again when he’s already served two terms as president?"

Dude is shitting his pants. Anything is possible my friends, and the reality that Cheney’s name is being floated around accomplishes several things including striking fear in the heart of President Obama and reducing mbeckers curmudgeon level by a factor of 10.

Olberman had a little chuckle with the possibility of a Cheney-Palin ticket. He mused that their going to run on the slogan "Vote for us, we’ll screw up America worse."

Did you hear that? Not only is he horribly wrong but Keith just let it slip, he KNOWS Barry is fucking things up. And for him to get on national TV every night and bash the people trying to stop this madness, just enforces my theory that it is Keith himself who is the 'World's Worst Progressive Douchebag.'

"It is not going to happen."

"He is not a viable candidate."

"Even the Republican Party, as suicidal as it sometimes seems, isn’t about to go down that path."

lol...Cheney sent you a message Keith, BOO!...Don't wet yourself.

As I sit here watching Keith's World, he just called Michael Steele a 'political prostitute', which may or may not be true...but he does it on national television. But I guess that's allowed now.

In Keith's World you can call people tea-baggers,

you can call people prostitutes,

you can call people the 'Worst person in the world'

you can say patriotism is 'straight up racism'

you can call old folks terrorists and traitors...on national TV.

but, but, but, we 'conservatives' have to be nice.....

Yes friends, we have to take the high road while liberals rake the muck with impunity. Might I remind you that progressives Never take the high road. Here's our latest example...

Controversy has been brewing since President Obama's declassification of internal CIA documents. They show interrogation techniques used by the CIA on terror suspects under the Bush administration were effective.

Cheney has long been the bitter thorn in the sides of progressives, but he has generally been ignored by the Democratic party. Until now.

Aren't liberals suppose to be 'clear thinkers'? They just won't let go of the "We Tortured" meme.

So instead of focusing on Barack Obama and his growing list of broken promises, the DNC puts out a pre-emptive 2012 campaign video trying to grill Cheney with a weak McCain marinade.

Got Fear?

Let me tell you something, the only documented case of torture was in Tommy Christopher's hotel room at Netroots Nation.

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Blago Bloggo September 5, 2009 at 2:25:00 AM EDT  

You can tell us Flo, are you really saying you are inflamed? Heh. I like your articles. They are so perfectly enlightening.

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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