Halloween and Taxes

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FIFY Contest: Carrot Cake

What in hell is FIFY?

FIFY=FIXED IT FOR YOU

When a picture just needs an extra touch of magic to be perfect, and you are the right person to put that extra touch of magic on it, that's when you say FIFY, "fixed it for you."

David Kessler is another one of the huge douchebags in the Obama czardministration. His schtick is to redefine things by using misleading terms. For instance he re-dubbed cigarettes "nicotine delivery devices" and then regulated them based on the distorted definition, as if they actually were medical devices rather than a leaf rolled up in paper with a filter to reduce nicotine and tar. These days he has his sights set on food. He wants to tax the cheeseburger out of the average American's ability to pay for it. Carrot cake too. And he talks about these foods as if all they are is a laboratory concocted mixture of fat, sugar, and salt. Once again he will pretend that a natural food product, prepared at home by people, is a medical device and regulate it accordingly.

In other words, he is one of the biggest progressive douchebags of all time. Tarring and feathering was made for douchebags like him. Fix this picture of Kessler with carrot cake.

Here are the initial FIFY entries for the carrot cake contest.

Blago Bloggo

Blago Bloggo

Streetwise and Blago Bloggo	Blago Bloggo
Aunt Flo	Aunt Flo
Aunt Flo	Blago Bloggo

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The Messiah, Prince Barack Milhous Hussein Obama II the Most Merciful is not funny!

The freepers think he is. Also from the Patriot Post.

Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

Q: How do you know Obama is reading the TelePrompTer?
A: His lips are moving.

The Obama economy is so bad...that you can order checks pre-marked "Insufficient Funds."

The Obama economy is so bad...that Congress is planning a spare change for clunkers program.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Americans are being caught sneaking into Mexico.

The Obama economy is so bad...that the Chicago mob is laying off judges.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Nancy Pelosi is selling earmarks for 1/2 price.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Saturday Night Live is thinking about telling an Obama joke.

The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is running a small business on the side. It's called GM.

The Obama economy is so bad...that even people who aren't in the Cabinet have stopped paying taxes.



Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.



Q: What's the other difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta isn't scared to go on Fox News.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One's full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.



Q: What's the difference between a zoo and the White House?
A: A zoo has an African lion and the White House has a lyin' African.

Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal congress?
A: An Obama-nation.

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.

Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.

Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Both were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, but only Obama won it.



Q: Why doesn't Obama pray?
A: It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

Q: How do you know when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: How do you know when Barack Obama is lying?
A: See above.

Q: How do you know when Michelle Obama is lying?
A: See above.

Q: How do you know when Tim Geithner is lying?
A: Are you kidding? Elves always lie!

Q. How many Obamas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Hey, if Obama’s in the room, who needs a light bulb?

Q: Why did Obama cross the road?
A: To apologize to the other side.

Q: What is the best thing about cash for clunkers?
A: It took most of the Obama stickers off the road.



President Obama is the only leader taking comprehensive action to stop greenhouse gas emissions: He's steadily putting everyone out of work.

Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.



Obama is so pretty...

Obama is so pretty that the new symbol of the Democrat Party will be a unicorn

Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him

Obama is so pretty that the White House Rose Garden will need to triple in size

Obama is so pretty that his anti-matter version is James Carville

Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he's smart

Obama is so pretty that he won't ride in Ted Kennedy's car

Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store

Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit

Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka

Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips

Obama is so pretty that his mirror on the wall was struck speechless

Obama is so pretty that he can wear white after labor day

Understanding TV News Acronyms

• NBC: New Barack Channel
• ABC: Another Barack Channel
• MSNBC: Most Servile New Barack Channel
• CBS: Continuous Barack Show
• FOX: Flagrant Obama Xenophobes

Also see here for beer etc.

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Uncle Sam's Musical Interlude

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Progressive Douchebags with Guns

...shot up Lou Dobb's house and almost hit his wife.

I blame Latino advocacy groups like La Raza (the Race, think they're racist?), Presente.org, BastaDobbs.org, Media Matters, and other progressive douchenistas. I also blame Geraldo Rivera who has been spending so much bile and spit in his hateful attacks on Lou Dobbs. The question Rivera needs to answer is, why do we have laws to govern immigration if we are not going to enforce them equally, but have selective enforcement that lets Geraldo's tribe in without checks and stops Blago's tribe without any appeal? Aren't laws supposed to be enforced equally, without bias? Why does Rivera want us to enforce our laws in a biased way that favors his tribe? It isn't because he believes in fairness and equality, that's for sure! He just wants to win a tribal conflict that only he is fighting.

When progressives get guns you know there is a Maoist in the house.

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White House Releases Official Approval Badge for Properly Servile Media Outlets

Oct 24, 2009, Washington DC (PDBWatch Agency)
Following this week's declaration that Fox News is not news, the White House and Organizing for America have released a new officially logoed badge that can be displayed by approved news outlets such as NBC, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, CNN, and the Workers World, but definitely not by Fox News. White House tovarisch Anita "Mao Tse" Dunn adds that "news consumers who encounter unapproved news media personnel should get in their face, if they punch you then hit back twice as hard, and if they bring a knife you bring a gun. Hell, comrades, just kill them all. Let's start the Terror! We have plenty of people in the US and are planning to kill about 20% of them anyway, just the useless kulaks and bourgeois and those who live in the southern states and defend the ku klux klan." Dunn added, "for any other agencies that would like to earn this certificate, please wear your Presidential logo kneepads when you come to the White House Ministry of Truth to apply."

The startling announcement was coupled with the following image, which should not be taken for approval of Progressive Douchebag Watch.

Alternate sizes are:

The badge is also available as a commemorative aluminum-plated zinc coin from the Franklin Mint for the price of $200,000 of campaign contributions to President Obama's reelection campaign.

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Douchebag wants to expose Zombietime blogger for the high crime of exposing lib douchebaggery

This douche has decided that, since he dislikes Zombie (at Zombietime) and his penchant for exposing liberal bullshit and antics, he would do his best to "out" the anonymous blogger.

All by lonesome, studying the video and photographic evidence, he's managed to piece together just an absolutely compelling image of some dude taking a picture. With arrows and titles, in case his readers are too stupid (and I'm sure many are) to figure out "Woman with Red Shirt" all by themselves.

I did notice, btw, that while he's so very upset with Zombie for staying anonymous, nobody knows who this fat little fuckweasle is, either. Not that a picture would help. Or even a name. The PDB showcase here will probably drive more traffic to his site than he's ever seen. He's probably already spanking in anticipation.

Well done, man. Why wait for the gubmint to fuck with peoples' lives, when YOU can do it for them. When do you get your black shirt and armband? I'm sure it'll be a step up from the shit your mom makes you wear.

By the way, dude... you're wrong. Heh.

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It's people like David Cowan who make me wish vampires were real and would suck out all his blood

Cowan, who lives in West Virginia, got a judge in Maryland to shut down a new windfarm in Indiana that was going to provide energy to Chicago. Cowan is batty about bats. He loves the little guano-nistas and thinks the death of a single bat is a tragedy of a magnitude which the world cannot bear. Pathos, thy name is Myotis Sodalis, the Indiana Bat.

David Cowan is a perfect example of a common species of vermin in America: The Batshit Insane Progressive Douchebag. We could use a few less of them.

Go get him, Drac!

And WTF is it with a guy in one state getting a judge in another state to shut down a business in a third state a thousand miles away? If this is typical of environmental lawsuits, which I think it is, then they are totally out of frikking control!

h/t: Ralph Alter at American Thinker

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FLOTUS is a good hula hooper! Woohoo

Maybe she should stick to hula hooping and get out of politics.

To be honest, maybe the POTUS should do the same thing. He sucks at bringing people together... much better at childish games like this, beer summits, and saying "nya nya nya" to Rush Limbaugh and Fox News.

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A modest proposal for pets with big carbon footprints

I'm not talking about big footprints, like dinosaur footprints. I'm talking about carbon dioxide, CO2. You know, that gas that every frikking animal in the entire world breathes out and every single frikking plant in the entire world breathes in. The animal kingdom inhales O2 and exhales CO2; the vegetable kingdom inhales CO2 and exhales O2. The Cycle of Life: It's funny how that works like a perpetual motion machine, almost like it's designed that way. You know, CO2, that gas that comprises about 1% of the atmosphere. The gas 99% of which is generated by geological processes like oceanic warming, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. The gas that is causing the greening of the Sahara Desert. Let me repeat. The gas that is causing the Sahara Desert to have more green vegetation on it than it has had in recorded human history. Right, that "greening gas" is the gas that the "green movement" hates.

Fact: the greens don't like green.

The gas that makes plants grow green is the gas the "green movement" hates most of anything in the whole world, except for humanity itself, which they believe should just go extinct. At least if you ask a "green movement" type of person, that's what they'd believe. Whether they'd say it or not probably depends on whether there is an audience.

You might as well get mad at O2. At least that is what humans actually breathe, and if humans are the enemy then why not attack them directly? But these are greens. They don't have to make sense. They worship GAIA, and communism, and Barack Milhous Obama, and they hate CO2, political rivals, and waiting around to judge their stupid ideas by their disastrous results. Thou shalt not judge their ideas by anything except their psychedelic fueled imaginations. And in the meantime, Katie bar the door it's time to have another mental spasm and do something randomly stupid that seemed like a good idea when they were sitting around smoking medicinal marijuana. So they've already called a gas (that is necessary for plant life and therefore necessary for animal life) "carbon" and fooled all the stooges into thinking they're talking about soot or some other particulate form of carbon that really would be nasty in the atmosphere, now it's time to fool the stooges into betraying their pets, Fido Castro the dog and Mousy Tongue the cat.

For in the classic words of Barack Milhous Obama, and Richard Milhous Nixon, 'let me make this perfectly clear.' It is clear as crystal, humans have to go. And since the greens have clearly already convinced their green-cult stooges to stop making human babies and to live sterile, meaningless lives with their precious miniature poodle dogs and ferrets that fit in purses and the like, it's time for those so-smart "green movement" types to drop the other braided-hemp and recycled-tire flip-flop.

Brenda and Robert Vale of Victoria University in New Zealand have computed the carbon footprint of domestic animals and determined that pet dogs and cats have fucking huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge carbon footprints (reminder, that means CO2, the gas that green plants love more than anything in the world), much larger than domestic food animals like chickens and rabbits, and just about the same carbon (dioxide) footprint as one of those Toyota Landcruisers the Taliban and Al Qaeda carry their jihad murderers around in.

Sounds like we should be killing more Taliban and Al Qaeda jihad murderers and blowing up their fucking Land Cruisers to me. Anybody agree? But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The vicious Vales think that means you should eat your dog for lunch. Or dinner. Maybe breakfast. They don't much care which meal. Forget the dog biscuits, and have some dog, egg, and cheese biscuits. Don't get the cat chow, chow down on cat au vin. Pad thai becomes poodle thai.

The eco-footprints of the family pet each year as calculated by the Vales:

• German shepherds: 1.1 hectares, compared with 0.41ha for a large SUV.
• Cats: 0.15ha (slightly less than a Volkswagen Golf).
• Hamsters: 0.014ha (two of them equate to a medium-sized plasma TV).
• Goldfish: 0.00034ha (an eco-finprint equal to two cellphones).

Eco-finprint. That's cute.

And here I had been thinking that when my twelve vicious rescued from Michael Vick rottweilers leave turds all over the backyard and the grass shoots up like weeds on the spot, that was making the back yard greener. I mean, sure by the mundane meaning of things that's a fact. But in the super-special double-secret-probation "green movement" meaning of things, the color green you see with your own eyes is a false narrative. Are you going to trust the "greens," or your own lying eyes?! Eat your dog. They are serious!

Can you spot the false narrative too? I can. I think everyone can.

What will we do after we eat all 83 pounds of Fido Castro or Mousy Tongue al'Orange? The vicious Vales suggest we buy chickens and treasure them, for the eggs if not for their loyalty, pack instincts, and house guarding abilities, until we chop off their fowl heads and devour the beheaded remnant of the chicken. Chickens are funny when you do that. They're always funny! They run around like chickens with their head cut off regardless of whether their heads are detached or still firmly attached. So, post chicken guillotine, let's all sit around drinking free trade coffee and laughing at the precious antics of the headless chickens. And of course, for those who like to get a nice hug in with the pets, there is nothing like a headless chicken when it comes to cuddle time, unless it is a headed chicken that keeps on pecking your crotch while you try to pick the nits out of its anal feathers. Ah, memories! Why did we ever stop keeping chickens inside the house, anyway?! What an error that was for our culture.

Let's keep geese, goats and cattle in the house too! What could possibly go wrong?

You know, this is awfully fucking complicated. How many pets do you think we have in America? And how many dedicated "green movement" types like the vicious Vales? It seems to me that our pets outnumber the greens. So why don't we guillotine the "green movement" types and serve "greenie biscuits" and "kibbles and greens" to our dogs? Cats might even like it, though I'm sure most of those greens are pretty tough and stringy. Not to mention tasteless. But I've tried dogfood and it's already tasteless. Fido Castro and Mousy Tongue will never notice.

Imagine an actual use for "green movement" douchebags. And imagine the dog's "green" bowel movements afterwards. That green movement should make the grass grow super-duper green!

Do green good by doing greens in; and feeding them to the dogs. It's just about time for a nice little Thermidorian Reaction, isn't it? The Kiwis can take care of the vicious Vales themselves. I think they might have a few rather large sheepdogs in New Zealand that could do with an extra meal.

In other words, "green movement" douchebags could do some good by reducing the carbon (dioxide) footprint of hungry and vicious man-eating dogs. And by becoming scooby snacks. Now that's a (soylent) green goal that is worth it!

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How do I love working for the gummint, let me count the ways...

If I am Gary Pivoda or Louis Marciano, respectively of Latham and Rennselaer New York, then my favorite things about working for the state of New York are:

• Not doing my job
• Turning in fraudulent time sheets
• Having a secret hideout in a parking garage
• Where I can take naps all day
• And smoke pot
• And use cocaine
• And weigh and package pot
• And weigh and package cocaine
• And sell pot
• And sell cocaine
• And throw all night drinking, pot, and cocaine parties for other state workers.
• Did I mention not doing my job?
• And doing lots of drugs, then taking naps, while on the clock?
  

All in all, they are facing 22 criminal counts. Pivoda's and Marciano's party affiliation and union membership could not be determined by hapless reporters. They claim to be surprised at being busted for such petty activities, when there are other state workers doing much worse stuff.

Oops! Let that cat out of the bag!

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Ken Feinberg is a freakin' idiot

In a game of inches, Ken Feinberg is kilometers from the stadium. It's Fourth and One, on a Power Play and he's got a no-hitter going! Someone tell the bowler not to get tangled up in the scrum!

Not only is the Pay Douche in the wrong place, he's playing the wrong damn game! Today he announced that he was going to "claw back" (find those words in the Constitution) millions of dollars in executive salaries and bonuses.

Oh, but he let a couple of guys keep theirs, so it's all okay, right?

Now, no doubt that with some of these companies, the zitiots in charge shouldn't be earning minimum wage, let alone millions of dollars, but that's a decision for the companies' owners, not some over-priced government bureaucrat with delusions of intelligence. What makes him think that taking back 90% of people's salaries is going to solve anything? What does it prove to anyone, except that if you're top talent, you don't go work for a company that the government says is "too big to fail?"

If this sand-flea-brained minor bureaucrat can find put together the idea that he can steal the earnings of a few hundred wall street bankers just because it's the politically correct thing to do, what's to stop the few remaining people in D.C. with half a brain-wave still active from figuring they can do it to the rest of us?

With the Democrats in Congress and The Anointed One in the White House, I'd venture to say "very little."

Somebody please tell me this asshole doesn't really think he can do this.

Please?

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Does 'Let me make this perfectly clear' remind anyone else of Nixon?

It sure reminds me of Nixon. Anderson Cooper thinks so too. The White House enemies list featuring Rush Limbaugh and Fox News reinforces this feeling. Next I expect some muttering about nattering nabobs of negativism.

Someone should remind Barack Milhous Obama this road ends up in a dark, dark, place with screaming, rending of garments, and gnashing of teeth.

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Going Rouge seems designed to trick consumers, make them furious and vengeful

What is the over/under on a class action lawsuit against the editors of The Nation for tricking consumers and bookstores into spending their hard-earned money on the left's worthless, spiteful crap instead of the Palin book?

Wasn't burning down her church with women and children inside enough to satisfy their black and shriveled hearts?

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CT Repubs get sense of humor, Douchebag Dems cry like little babies

It's hard to see what they're talking about when they include no pics, but that's about what I'd expect from an "Advocate." CT Repubs have been tweeting away in satirical abandon until their satirical accounts tempted Democrat crybabies to complain to Twitter that people thought the satire was real.

In other words, the satire was hitting too close to home.

"It's hard enough to explain what we're doing here in Hartford," said Lesser. "It's even more difficult when you've got political hacks going out of their way to confuse people."

Democrats hold a veto-proof majority in the state House, outnumbering Republicans 114-37. The Democrats also have a 24-12 margin in the state Senate. Those numbers have been frustrating the hell out of GOP leaders, who have seen their share of General Assembly seats shrivel in successive legislative elections.

Waaaaaaah! Pussies can't handle it when they have completely dominant positions in the legislature and get to pass any idiotic bill they want. Now they need to legislate dominance on Twitter too! Pussies!

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Eamon Javers needs to get hit with a cluebat

I have just the cluebat here to pummel him with.

Javers writes at Politico. Today he writes a long, tendentious, boring column that makes the claim that because Matt Drudge has posted lots of stories about the weak dollar therefore Drudge is causing the dollar to weaken. Hey douchEamon, did you ever think that maybe the dollar is really falling and that it's a FREAKING IMPORTANT STORY?! Just because the Pravda Media doesn't write about it and the Pravda TV Stations Anita "Mao Tse" Dunn likes don't talk about it, doesn't mean that it's unimportant. It just means that the story is on double-secret unofficial probation in order to protect The Messiah, the Lord Barack Milhous Obama the Most Merciful from anyone noticing that the Kenyan emperor has no Burberry suits, or indeed any clothes at all.

Yes, Virginia, the dollar really is weakening. You don't think that more than doubling the amount of dollars in circulation over the last year might have reduced the worth of each one by a little more than half, now do you? You don't think that the mad rush to buy paper and print money with it has reminded people that money is indeed nothing more than paper with a government promise on it? You don't think that Obama's inability to keep a single one of his own promises longer than five minutes has hurt his government's credibility on the matter of keeping promises?

No, a guy who aggregates news stories is causing the collapse of the dollar!

Right, and a guy who writes for Politico is the reason why the infinite universe will someday die, or maybe not die but just cool down to ice and black holes, or be embraced back into the arms of an infinitely loving God.

Blame it all on Eamon Javers, that's the ticket!

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Dowd advocates real prostitution in New York Times offices

As opposed to that fake kind of prostitution where the NYT sucks the donkey dick of every Democrat politician to sashay down the street. Of course, Maureen is a bit too long in the tooth to make much in that more honest line of work.

MoDolarious!

In his memoir, “Gaily, Gaily,” Ben Hecht describes his years as a cub reporter at The Chicago Daily Journal starting in 1910. It was a time when reporters were still “exotic adults,” he writes, and journalism was considered by many as “a catch basin for hooligans, bar flies and minor swindlers.”

The first thing Hecht did was get his girlfriend, who was “in harlot servitude” when they met, hired as the “first girl reporter” at the paper for $12 a week by pretending she was a Van Arsdale who was a niece of Edith Wharton.

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ACORN and WFP Vote Fraud in NY

Douchebags who stole an election in Troy NY with fraudulent absentee ballots need to be tarred and feathered in jail, sideways, by a 7 foot tall psychopath with a skin condition.

Voter ID isn't just a nice thing. It is the only thing that will protect the vote of honest people from getting nullified by Douchebag criminality.

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FIFY Contest: Mile High Club Winner!

What in hell is FIFY?

FIFY=FIXED IT FOR YOU

When a picture just needs an extra touch of magic to be perfect, and you are the right person to put that extra touch of magic on it, that's when you say FIFY, "fixed it for you."

Following up on the Oct 13 FIFY contest, the votes are in. The top vote getters were:

Both by Blago Bloggo (moi). And these two:



Both by Aunt Flo (not moi).

Artie the accountant stole all the meat in my freezer. But while he was here he counted up the votes with the fingers on both his hands, and gave me an envelope which I now open, my breath abated, my senses in an uproar.

Without any further ado, the winner is (cowbell please)


Aunt Flo wins with "Pity" for the beauty of the image.

Second place goes to me for "More Cowbell?"

Third place is a tie between the ACORN hatted "I won" and the "Goose" joke.

and the world's greatest community organizer hat ever!

Hope you all enjoyed this. Aunt Flo is enjoying her date with Fabio. I'm still making up my mind on the next FIFY Contest. Until the next one, Fixed it For You!

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Even a Stopped Joe Biden Clock...

Joe Biden drops some righteous truth on the Pravda press idiots.

Don't worry, Joe. We know the truthtelling was accidental. Keep up the mistakes, smart guy!

h/t: Gateway Pundit

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CO2/Artificial-Volcano Religious War among the AGW Cultists: Break out the Popcorn!

The Freakonomics "artificial volcanic eruption" anthropogenic global warmeningists started a religious battle with the "zero CO2 emissions" anthropogenic global warmeningists. This is the time to break out the popcorn and Twizzlers! So far the "artificial volcanic eruption" gang have siezed the high ground on the not-yet-discredited-among-anthropogenic-global-warmeningists New York Times website. The "zero CO2 emissions" cult having not quite realized the implications of their position, they did not promptly go and stop their own breathing forever, but instead started raising a heavy-breathing army of their screaming partisans. Now they will make religious war upon the "artificial volcanic eruption" believers and purify their anthropogenic global warmeningist cult in a 21st century inquisition, or witch hunt, or counter-reformation, or what-have-you. Or maybe they are more like the "zero CO2 emissions" Sunni against the "artificial volcanic eruption" Shia.

In either case, a pox on both their houses. May we permitted to hope they both lose after mortally wounding each other and discrediting the New York Times, the whole climate change hoax cult, and the so-called progressive, regressive idiotic luddite totalitarian dictatorship belief system? Well, maybe we won't expect all that out of this. But it sure is going to be fun to watch the assholier-than-thou douchebags bite each other's noses off!

<pop/> <pop/> <pop/> <pop/> <pop/>

Can you hear what the Pops are cooking? Popcorn, baby. Popcorn for all!

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How can every single bill in Congress have the same name?

To wit, "How to Fuck over the USA in 1000 or more Mind-numbing, Union Gifting, Economy destroying, Freedom stealing, Paranoia-Inducing, Insanely Expensive Pages."

I guess that Baucus, which should be pronounced "Fuck Us," is the main perpetrator of this particular country-rape.

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Hey ABC/NBC/CBS/PBS You Have Been Played by the Obama Campaign

Listen to your puppet master tell you all about it!

h/t: Fox Nation

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They Deny Reality Because they Grieve for the Public's Rejection of the Fascist Healthcare Highjack

There are seven stages of grief, or so says this douchebag site.

1. Shock or Disbelief
   

2. Denial
   

3. Bargaining
   

4. Guilt
   

5. Anger
   

6. Depression
   

7. Acceptance and Hope

Which stage is Obama at?

Oct. 16 (Bloomberg) -- President Barack Obama told a group of Democratic Party donors in San Francisco he’s determined to outlast his critics to move ahead on his agenda, including revamping the health-care system and financial regulations.

“Some of our opponents think they are going to wear us down,” Obama said at a fundraiser for the Democratic National Committee last night at the Westin St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco. “I’m not tired, I’m refreshed.”

Sounds like denial to me. It isn't just a river in Egypt where Obama went to apologize to the 57 states of the Muslim world.

That's the second stage. At least they're over the Disbelief stage, where they blamed the public's reaction on racism or some other bullshit. Now they want to pay the over 65 crowd $250 to vote for their favorite form of euthanasia. I guess that's bargaining. I hope they find their way to depression soon and stay there for four years, along with the econosuck they've forced into the Great Depression v.2.

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Paging Kevin Jennings

Dude, I guess you got your wish.

A coalition of liberal sex education advocates says the Obama administration and the Democrat-controlled Congress will end support for abstinence-only programs that emphasize marriage and heterosexual relationships. [...]

Martha Kempner, vice president for information and communications with SIECUS, said the sex education programs used over the past eight years in America’s middle and high schools had a pro-marriage agenda.

Damn good idea to get rid of that insidious pro-marriage agenda! Stellar, Kevin. Just stellar! Looks like you already have Planned Parenthood teaching Sex Ed to 15-year-olds in Cleveland. Good idea there too! How young, exactly, do you want to start teaching kids how to put a condom on a banana or a gigantic throbbing cucumber? Are you too also shy to tell us? I wonder if you had anything to do with conducting this survey back in 2002-2003?

From March 2002 to March 2003, the federal government paid more than a thousand 15- to 17-year-olds $40 each to answer questions about their sex lives, including intimate questions about specific sexual acts, whether they had ever engaged in homosexual acts, whether they had used contraception, and what sorts of discussions they had had with their parents about sex.

Unbe-fucking-lievable!

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Obama to Wildfire: Hey cut it out over there!

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Douchebag drunk on power or something

Lookit the democrat all drunk on power looking for some new part of the economy to destroy now that he's destroyed the home mortgage market. Maybe he'll pick on health care!

Maybe he's drunk on something else, but do you get my point?

h/t: Boortz

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Douchebag Meter

Who is a bigger douchebag, the people who see stuff like this from June 27, 2004 and think it indicates that Pres. Obama (Douchebag, IL) is a Kenyan and that he won his US Senate seat by falsely smearing his opponent, or the people who won't unseal any of their college or school records, or the lifelong tobacco smoker and admitted marijuana and cocaine user who won't release the complete results of a physical exam to the American people?

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Which US Representative is running away fastest from doing his job?

Looks like Douchebag Dennis Kucinich to me.

I guess the Douchebags don't want to hold a vote to investigate corruption in DC and Countrywide (Dodd/Obama, CT/IL). It's not like the real estate collapse had anything to do with the national and world econosuck.

That's called sarcasm, for those Progressives too stupid to recognize it.

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0 controls the horizontal; 0 controls the vertical

The Obama regime is taking over your television from October 19-25 on more than 60 network TV shows. Read these.

• Obama Controls Your Television Set, by John Nolte
• Part II: Obama Controls Your Television Set, by Stage Right
• Part III: Obama Controls Your Television Set, by Patrick Courrielche

You and your family, friends, and neighbors will be deluged with TV programming that urges the viewers to go to iparticipate.org or iparticipate.net and sign up to take time off from work and family to volunteer at Planned Parenthood or other far left causes. They are going to try to convince your kids that you are a bad person who should be turned in to the thought police if you aren't an environmentalist, union organizing, progressive douchebag like them. This is going to be an advertising blitz just like the frikking Obama campaign. How 1984 from Big Brother Barack Obama!

So... do you think White House Communications Commissar Anita "Mao Tse" Dunn has anything to do with this?

Why so serious America? We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. We control your television and will force you to volunteer in our causes, where you will be indoctrinated and assimilated, or be treated for irreconcilable attitude problems.

Update 1: Stix suggested maybe we can volunteer to do something like this? It could work!



Update 2: Instapundit is on it. So is memeorandum. Also Atlas Shrugs, Gawker and Weasel Zippers

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Douchebag Ho!

Ahoy me mateys, the IP responsible for adding the false and defamatory Limbaugh quotes to those Wikiquote articles appears to have been traced to a source at a big, uber-politically correct NY law firm.

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Anita Dunn's favorite political philosopher is Mao Tse Tung

Anita Dunn doesn't just rhyme with Mao Tse Tung. Yeah I use old-school Wade-Giles transliteration. So effing what? It's how I roll, homes.

Did I hear this wrong? She thinks of Mao's work all the time? Watch the video and check it for me.



I don't think progressive douchebag is a strong enough term. She is a revolutionary frikking communist! She wants to go to war with the US, just like Mao did against his fellow communist in charge of China's cities, Chiang Kai Shek, and take the US over from the institutions that she doesn't control yet, right? Isn't that the feel you got from what she said? Does she have the same plans to kill about 20% of the populace that Marx advocated, and that Lenin, Mao, and Pol Pot all carried out in their communist hellholes?

Why so serious, America? Anita "Mao Tse" Dunn's just trying to have a little mass-murdering commie fun!

Update: Guess who is pussying out of her own words? Guess. Just guess. Anita "Mao Tse" Dunn says that the whole Mao and Mother Theresa thing was a joke she ripped off from Lee Atwater!

Remember the 70 million dead from her favorite political philosopher. The one whose most famous political soundbites were "power grows out of the barrel of a gun," "Communism is not love. Communism is a hammer which we use to crush the enemy," and "The guerrilla must move amongst the people as a fish swims in the sea." This is more than vaguely ominous.

Update 2: Welcome ebay readers! Hope you enjoy your visit. I'm like the foul mouthed whisky drinking neighbor your mother didn't like you to talk to because she thought you might start saying shit a lot. But I'm mostly harmless except to the thought-free illusions of clueless progressives.

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Pour Salt on Old Wounds

Well, Olympia Snowe did it. She was the sole Republican vote in favor of the Senate Finance Committee's version of the Health Care Reform Bill.

Will the real RINO bitch please stand up, please stand up, please stand up?

Clearly, somebody has photos of this Grecian bitch with the goats her grandfather used to shepherd. How else can we explain this woman voting against her constituents, her party and her own beliefs? Remember, she won her Senate seat in 1994 as part of the Conservative Revolution, after serving a few terms in the House. She voted against the "Bush Tax Cuts" despite touting tax relief as positive economic stimulus. Now she has voted in favor of socialism.

In other words, she's a two-faced lying whore.

I saw where another blogger is going to send Ms. Snowe a bag of rock salt. After all, salt melts Snowe--er, snow. I think this is a brilliant idea. You should join him.

Here's the mailing address:

3 Canal Plaza
Suite 601
Portland, ME 04101
Main: (207) 874-0883

Update: Balloon Juice is laughing in full retard mode, memeorandum is counting

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FIFY Contest: Mile High Club

What in hell is FIFY?

FIFY=FIXED IT FOR YOU

You know when a lefty projects his her or its racism on you in writing, and you feel like you just have to turn it back around on them? Or someone forwards you a cartoon with a retarded leftist caption that would be much funnier if you changed that caption? Or if there was a nonsensical photograph that needed some thought balloons? OK, the only rule is that you should make whatever changes you make and end up with an image file that can be uploaded to twitpic or viewed on this or other blogs.

The prize is the classic no-prize. You can share your no-prize with your friends. Brag about your no-prize. Display it on your mantel. Use it to scratch your back. Or use it to scrape your boots off. The no-prize is so perfect because it is so flexible.

Our first contest is titled Mile High Club because it's the first idea that popped into my perverted brain.

You have one week. Aunt Flo and I and the other PDBWatch volunteers will select a winner by 10/19/09.

Update 1: Already got two real beauts from Aunt Flo. She's a star!

Update 2: Stix, Aunt Flo, and a batch from Blago Bloggo.

Update 3: Caption contest using the pic at The Other McCain. Niiiiiiiiiice! Let's see who brings teh funneh.

Update 4: more for shore, on the floor, je t'adore, pussy galore.

Aunt Flo	Aunt Flo
Stix	Blago Bloggo
Blago Bloggo	Blago Bloggo
Aunt Flo	Blago Bloggo
Aunt Flo	Aunt Flo

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Progressive Lies about Rush: that fake Slavery quote

How do you know when a progressive is lying? His or her or its lips are moving.

Surprise surprise surprise, the progressive douchebags are lying again. Here is the latest thing those shameless liars allege that Rush Limbaugh said.

We didn't have slavery in this country for over 100 years because it was a bad thing. Quite the opposite: slavery built the South. I'm not saying we should bring it back; I'm just saying it had its merits. For one thing, the streets were safer after dark....

All the progressive douchebags who keep on slandering and libeling Rush Limbaugh with this fake quote had better either come up with the recording or retract it. It's slander or libel, depending on how you did it. It's false anyway. Here is what Rush Limbaugh had to say about it.

People saying I made jokes about the good points, whatever, the finer points of slavery. So to set the record... No, not to set it straight. To confirm the record, I don't know how many times on this program I have gotten into arguments over the last 21 years with people when I have asserted that the Civil War primarily was about slavery. People have called me, "No, it wasn't! It was about states' rights. It was about this," and I said, "Don't be silly. Abraham Lincoln knew that the union could not survive if one man was allowed to own another. I have uttered those words, quoting Lincoln favorably, too many times to count.

Slavery -- indentured servitude, whatever you want to call it -- is abominable, particularly in a free country. I've had people call this program and say, "Well, the Founding Fathers, I mean they were slave owners! Three-fifths of a person for blacks." Yeah, it's a sad shame. It's an absolute sad shame but I've given people the history. At the time there were 13 colonies. Getting them to all agree to rebel against the king and to declare independence, there were compromises necessary for that unity. Then when the Founders wrote the Constitution, they put the prescription in the Constitution for ending slavery, in the amendments -- and in our founding document, the Declaration of Independence, "All men are created equal, endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights, among them life, liberty, pursuit of happiness." How many times I've quoted that, I can't remember.

If I had said what they say I said, I would be gone. There would be nobody around. Snerdley would have resigned on the spot, even if I was trying to be funny.

And in their rush to bash Limbaugh, the progressives let their usual racist instincts shine through. Check this out.

That is racist, straight up hypocritical racism! Check out why.

 This is lame, but at least it references the most obvious oddity in the drawing, number 59's potbelly.

 This is mean, but it also refers to number 59's potbelly.

Also, this picks on the progressives' designated targets: people who are fat or old. Somehow progressives think they will never get fat or old. Well I got news for you Logan's Run dildos. You will either die or get fat and old. Get fucking used to it.

Damn progressives, I hate them. Does that break some kind of hate speech law or some such bullshit?

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