02 October 2009

Who knew? Worldwide Pants actually refers to David Letterman's heavy breathing

Thanks to Jim Treacher for the title. Other JTLOL classics were:

  • There's a 20-year age difference between Alex Rodriguez & Willow Palin. I wonde02extort_190r how much younger than Letterman those staffers are?
  • Just last week, Letterman told Obama, "I love to watch you work." Turns out that's his standard line around the office.
  • Right now, Woody Allen is signing a petition to get David Letterman some fresh meat.
Let me get this straight.

  • David Letterman is a long-time, serial seducer of women in his workplace who work for him.
  • Some of them have long-time boyfriends, are married, or were married.
  • Judging from the way that female guests who appear on his show have always reacted to him like he is a creep, this has been well known for a long time.
  • One of these husbands decided to blackmail Letterman with the information.
  • Letterman told his audience that he was a sexual predator who forced women who worked for him into sexual relationships.
  • He got laughs because he called his actions "hinky"
Am I missing anything?

Someone has to say it. The blackmailing boyfriend who left that package on the back seat of Letterman's car should have just convinced his girl to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against Letterman for $20 million or so. Or he could have filed an alienation of affection suit. Way more money than $2 million. Plus you can get the money and also embarrass him publicly. And saying "I've been sued for sexual harassment because I used my power over them to sleep with a lot of women who worked for me" on stage doesn't usually get a laugh. Even when you say "hinky."

David Letterman: What a Douchebag!

This makes all the creepy shit he said about the Palin daughters even creepier. Can't he be convicted of some kind of sex crime and forced to live under a bridge like a troll or something?


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2 comments:

Mr. Letterman's Pants,  October 2, 2009 at 4:30:00 PM EDT  

Hey! Don't try to pin on me the reprehensible actions of the ass I am belted onto. I'm just a freaking pair of pants after all. I have a seam, but I'm not seamy, unlike Letterman.

Fred October 2, 2009 at 6:37:00 PM EDT  

People call Letterman "brave" for doing this.

I'd say "brave" would have been keeping it IN his pants and NOT HAVING THE AFFAIRS.

My understanding is that he was with his then-girlfriend-now-wife when the affair with the blackmailer's girlfriend was going on. So, he's a cheater.

Good for him for going to the cops. It was the right thing to do. But the actions that led to it were just plain STUPID.

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