03 October 2009

President's online/on-air healthcare address leads to shocking discovery

President Obama gave a radio/internet address in which he links passage of his healthcare bill (the one in which employers are required to provide insurance or pay into the system, and private citizens are rewired to carry insurance or pay a fine) with economic growth. Because, he says, it will encourage more people to become entrepreneurs if they don't fear losing their coverage while in transition. And then, says he, small business will be MORE likely to hire people.

This reasoning on the part of the president has led many citizens to a new discovery about the 44th President of the United States: Holy SHIT, we've elected a fucking moron.

Seriously, somebody call 48-fucking-hours to investigate how this brain-dead, zombified community organizer actually manages to walk around and utter multi-syllabic words. Clearly, if this man EVER had the brains God gave a Gumby doll, somewhere along the way, he managed to destroy those cells -- replaced, probably, with that ego of his, which is itself so thick it actually has its own fucking identity.

I mean, I suppose SOMEBODY in that organization has to be credited with at least a little intelligence for suggesting Biden as 2nd-in-command, if for no other reason than to make sure there was somebody with less intelligence in the White House than the President. But the more Obama talks, the more I'm convinced that he is not, in fact, the brains behind this operation.

The President needs people with him at every public appearance just to remind him to breathe in and out and put one foot in front of the other. He wasn't checking out that girl's ass in France -- he was asking her for directions to the bottom step.

When he says, "uh," he's not using it as a vocal crutch, or trying to collect his thought; he's sounding out the words.

I'm going to explain this, not for the people reading this -- if you have intelligence enough to find your way to the internets, this shit is elementary. But, please, somebody pass the following note on to the President:

If having people work for you costs more money (which it will, since employers will have to provide insurance or pay into the system), fewer people will get hired. That doesn't equal MORE jobs, fucknut. Look, I understand math is hard, and that your pea brain only has room enough for either adding one plus one or being articulate -- but content yourself with mumbling for a few days and try to grasp this simple, fucking concept: in a depressed economy (that means, in a world where people don't have as much money as they normally would; try to keep up, dipshit), people aren't going to spend MORE money if they don't have to. If NOT hiring somebody will cost less than HIRING somebody, then somebody ISN'T going to get that job. Clear enough?

I doubt it.

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Triumph the Insult Comic Dog,  October 3, 2009 at 8:24:00 PM EDT  

You sure know how to write fuck a lot. What are you, really? Triumph the Insult Comic Dog? Naw, he's funnier! Here's an example of how it really works if your stupid system lets me paste the video.

Shit! It didn't. Go to
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/421907/truiump_the_insult_comic_dog/ for some of my best work. I mean Triumph's best work.

Blago Bloggo October 3, 2009 at 8:29:00 PM EDT  

Damn, that's some funny shit Brother Sarkazo! Are you appearing at the Laugh Factory two shows a night and once on Sunday this week?

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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