30 October 2009

The Messiah, Prince Barack Milhous Hussein Obama II the Most Merciful is not funny!

The freepers think he is. Also from the Patriot Post.

Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

Q: How do you know Obama is reading the TelePrompTer?
A: His lips are moving.

The Obama economy is so bad...that you can order checks pre-marked "Insufficient Funds."

The Obama economy is so bad...that Congress is planning a spare change for clunkers program.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Americans are being caught sneaking into Mexico.

The Obama economy is so bad...that the Chicago mob is laying off judges.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Nancy Pelosi is selling earmarks for 1/2 price.

The Obama economy is so bad...that Saturday Night Live is thinking about telling an Obama joke.

The Obama economy is so bad...that the President is running a small business on the side. It's called GM.

The Obama economy is so bad...that even people who aren't in the Cabinet have stopped paying taxes.



Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.



Q: What's the other difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta isn't scared to go on Fox News.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One's full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.



Q: What's the difference between a zoo and the White House?
A: A zoo has an African lion and the White House has a lyin' African.

Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!

Q: What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal congress?
A: An Obama-nation.

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.

Q. How can you tell when Obama has been smoking dope?
A. He answers the door when the phone rings.

Q. Why did Obama think that he had campaigned in 57 states?
A. His heavy pot use has left him a brownie short of a full pan.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Both were nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, but only Obama won it.



Q: Why doesn't Obama pray?
A: It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

Q: How do you know when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: How do you know when Barack Obama is lying?
A: See above.

Q: How do you know when Michelle Obama is lying?
A: See above.

Q: How do you know when Tim Geithner is lying?
A: Are you kidding? Elves always lie!

Q. How many Obamas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Hey, if Obama’s in the room, who needs a light bulb?

Q: Why did Obama cross the road?
A: To apologize to the other side.

Q: What is the best thing about cash for clunkers?
A: It took most of the Obama stickers off the road.

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President Obama is the only leader taking comprehensive action to stop greenhouse gas emissions: He's steadily putting everyone out of work.

Today the IRS released new guidelines on how to avoid audits while Obama is the president. Number one - Don't list excessive deductions. Number two - File your return on time. Number three - Register to vote as a Democrat.

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes, and when I came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about giving a retired person a break'? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a 'doughnut eating Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came downtown on the bus, and the car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said, 'Obama in '08 .' I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.

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Obama is so pretty...

Obama is so pretty that the new symbol of the Democrat Party will be a unicorn

Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him

Obama is so pretty that the White House Rose Garden will need to triple in size

Obama is so pretty that his anti-matter version is James Carville

Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he's smart

Obama is so pretty that he won't ride in Ted Kennedy's car

Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store

Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit

Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka

Obama is so pretty that he gives John Edwards makeup tips

Obama is so pretty that his mirror on the wall was struck speechless

Obama is so pretty that he can wear white after labor day

Understanding TV News Acronyms
  • NBC: New Barack Channel
  • ABC: Another Barack Channel
  • MSNBC: Most Servile New Barack Channel
  • CBS: Continuous Barack Show
  • FOX: Flagrant Obama Xenophobes
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Also see here for beer etc.


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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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