During his extended stay at Martha's Vineyard, President Barack Obama and his Secret Service spent more than two hours in a Costco and a neighboring restaurant Wednesday. And I went along for the ride.
Obama visited the Costco after making a brief stop at 'Adul bookshop' The sign was broken but it was a nice store, but very dark. I found Adul inside and told him that his sign was busted...I don't know why, but he ran out the back!
Barry got some magazines and left the money on the counter. One of them was titled, "Genitalic stimulation via phallengetic motion"...I think that's what it said, I couldn't see it very well through the brown paper bag.
After our little shopping trip we grabbed some beef-stroganoff for lunch. I overheard a few guys say the president would have liked to make instant pudding, but we all agreed that would be a security risk and it would be way too messy.
Before he pulled his throng out of the eatery, Obama posed for pictures with two of the restaurant's servers Handrea and Palmela, he even let them sit on his lap. He spent the next 5 minutes in the restroom. At long last, he emerged and his motorcade drove around the back of Costco so Barry could grab his package.
They took the food to the nearby home of White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett, who also lives on Martha's Vineyard. And it turns out that Barry can handle himself in the kitchen. They were short on the gravy needed to make the stroganoff, so Barack offered to whip up a batch by hand. The women were also flabbergasted when Barry took matters into his own hands and expertly started to ball some melons, never stopping until he was finished.
White House officials have stressed that the president is on a private vacation and very little is planned. If Obama wanted to, he could begin the day with a workout or tennis. He could play a little five-on-one or, as he's been known to do, he could go downtown and meet with Mrs. Thumb and her four daughters.
They also have a fun-zone. It's typical fair faire...he could ride the 'Great White Knuckler', one of the fastest coasters in the nation. They say it moves so fast, "it will make a bald man puke" Wow...I can't wait to ride that one!
They also have a "Freak Show" for the brave souls. Have you ever wanted to pet a one-eyed burping gecko? This show has it. And if you pass by their old candy shoppe, you can always find them pulling taffy.
Barry gives himself a briefing every morning, and the secluded 28-acre private estate has a secure line to 900 numbers and the Pentagon secretary pool, if an inserection happens to pop up.
Mid-level aides are on the island to assist the president if needed, but he prefers to do most things by himself. I'd like to remind you that the presidency does not allow for a lot of breaks, so finding 5 minutes here and there can be a welcome release.
But don't get me wrong, sometimes he does appreciate a helping hand with his fast paced job. He's obviously worked very hard this year with his staff.
Damn... I have thoroughly digressed from the Costco story. I won't hold the sausage hostage any longer.
Barack Obama made remarks about something called the 'Tenga Flip Hole' outside his rented compound on Martha's Vineyard. No clues yet on what that item actually is, although some folks say that Barry is not good with his hands and they guess that it might be a tool of some sort.
UPDATE: I have uncovered the beast under the blanket, so let's get this German soldier marching, shall we?
I have discovered a video but I can't hear the audio and the writing is in Asian, so I'll tell you what I think.....
The 'Tenga Flip Hole' is some kind of tool, so our first instincts were right. I can tell it's a tool that gets used often, because it needs Lots of lubrication.
Looks sort of like a pencil sharpener, but when that small-armed model holds it up, you can see it's much bigger than it looks. It looks like it's got great features...the Click Orb, Side Ribs with terraced engraved edges, Wing gates, Quatro Waves, the End Orb and is easily cleanable.
Maybe the Costco purchase had something to do with it's function. I decided to sneak into the black SUV and see what the secret package is.
Holy Shit! K-Y® Brand Jelly. Gallons and gallons of K-Y® Brand Jelly.
Obviously, Barry needs a water-based lube and he's buying it in quantity. Who said he isn't fistfully conservative? Please, If anyone is familiar with this tool, ask him why he's always sneaking around....oh...and we still need to find out what this is..
This is weird..why doesn't he do something productive while on vacation, like paint the ceiling?
This picture of Megan Fox is a perfect metaphor for Hollywood. It looks pretty until it opens its mouth, and then all the shark teeth come out and threaten to bite your head off. So anyway, do you still think she's hot?
Remember how she got rid of the boney look by eating red velvet cake? Or how Megan said she'd try to get the Decepticons to kill off the middle of America if they'd leave her neighborhood alone? Oh, and Paris... Or how she loves the idea of going all lesbo like Lindsey, but with a porn queen.
You know, you can still think she's hot. I do. It should be obvious since she is the very first hotty to be featured on our shameless Rule 5 hit-mongering Progressive Cheesecake Watch. She's pretty on the outside, right?
On the left is a mockup of her as WonderWoman because she said she'd gladly be responsible for offing half of America if her neighborhood (and Paris) didn't get bothered. Some people are twisted, aren't they?
On the right is her in love with herself in the mirror. How fucking apt! Narcissus was turned into a flower for gazing at his beautiful bod. What will Megan turn into, other than a leather-skinned old hag?
Too much sun, Miss Fox.
And here we see her on the left, as a jaw-droppingly hot slice. On the right she is the she-hulk. I can't see that working out very well, but even a progressive douchebag has gotta work. She doesn't have other choices than the She-Hulk movie if she cannot act and won't do porn instead of doing porn stars. 
UPDATE: Wonderful mention at R. S. McCain, but there's one correction to it. The lead photo isn't a photoshop. It is a publicity still from Megan Fox's new movie, Jennifer's Body, in which she plays a super sexy ghoul or some such monster.
Fri, 08/28/2009 - 21:12 — NoGWBpolicyleft...
Here's one from our friendly neighborhood democrats in Michigan.
The Speaker of the House in Michigan (a Democrat) introduced a plan to require all public employees be put under one state run health insurance program.
Basically, another "screw the working class" proposal.
Needless to say, all of us employees who have had our wages slashed due to lack of raises over the last fifteen years are not too happy.
In that time we have had 12 raises that amounted to less than 1.2%! That means, we have really taken a pay cut. Six of those year we got zero% raise in order to keep our health insurance. Despite that, we have also taken concessions on health insurance two of the last four years to help keep our districts afloat! We opened our contracts to do that - the ultimate in good faith.
Now, this bluedog introduces this rightwing fantasy legislation that would destroy a major portion of what is left of Michigan's middle class. They have already crushed the U.A.W., and now, a DEMOCRAT introduces legislation that would basically destroy collective bargaining rights for workers, and crush the last vestige of worker opposition to the corporate fascists!
I called this little bastards office a few weeks ago, and got a very young kid who laughed at me when I asked if the Speaker really was from the party of FDR? He said laughing, "that was 50 years ago." He was totally ignorant, and the biggest dipshit I have talked to since I called Max Baucus' office a couple of years ago. Maybe it was the same guy?
So I moved on to the Speaker Pro Tem and talked to a very intelligent guy who completely understood everything at stake. His mother was a teacher, and he felt that the Speakers legislation would have to be supportive of workers and unions rights. He also was apalled when I told him of the bluedog jackass I talked to in the Speakers office and wanted his name.
In 2006, the repukes controlled our State House of representatives 58 - 52. After last year, the democrats hold a 67 - 43 majority thanks to the hundreds of thousands of public employees who campaigned and supported them.
And this is what we got in return; a big fat knife in the back!
Well, this blogger has finally had enough! I am going to start a petition demanding his resignation as Speaker, or that the House democrats strip him of his Speakership role. If they don't, they can try to win re-election next year without the 500,000 public employees, their spouses and family members support!
Plenty of people have said things about Teddy Kennedy, both good and bad. I would like to address the following message to those crying tears of psuedo-sorrow to the fat, pompous fuck:
He was not a leader; his position came entirely from the fact that he was a Kennedy. Incidentally, it was this same fact that kept his drunken ass out of jail in a situation that would have sent any one of you sycophantic losers straight past 'Go' without collecting your $200. A situation, just so's we don't forget, in which he was solely responsible for the death of a young woman, and for which he has never shown an iota of remorse.
It was also this fact that allowed him to get away with drunkenly harrassing waitresses.
He was not a uniter. He was not a "Great Man" in any way at all other than girth, and perhaps his ability to chug like a fratboy linebacker.
Cancer is a horrible way to go, and I don't envy him. I feel sorry for him. I always have; even before I knew he had cancer. I'm just not going to pretend the motherfucker was a saint.
Samuel M. Pittman, an alumnus of the College of Eastern Utah, sure can set up a strawman.
In a socialist government, health care providers and administrators would live in housing provided by the government; receive vouchers for food, clothing, fuel and perhaps a small cash stipend.You know what we will get if we make doctors just like teachers? We will get DOCTORS WHO ARE JUST LIKE TEACHERS! We will have to pay for their lazy, uneducated, bureaucratic, petty, bossy, vindictive selves even if we also pay for good doctors somewhere else who know what they are doing. Hmmm, let's pretend we are like Mr. Pittman and want it, just for fun.
The health care planned is more like the American education system. Our teachers and administrators are paid a salary that is drawn from taxpayers, but they are responsible to buy or rent their own homes and pay for food, clothing and fuel from their own pockets. These individuals are purchasing produced goods, contributing to the gross national product and thus are participants in the capitalist system.
Furthermore America has public and private education systems that co-exist and function quite well independent of one another. Consumers are free to choose where they send their children.
This is the first installment of this series. And if you don't know about George Carlin's most famous routine, you better axe somebody...
"These are the heavy seven. These are the ones that'll infect your soul,
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war." George Carlin
First up, 'Shit'...Rahm Emanuel. Ol'dead fish. The White House chief of feculence, brilliant inventor and entrepenur. If you haven't seen much of Rahm, it's because he's been working on his new prosthesis.
Progressive Douchebag Watch, which you are reading right now, is the most popular, intelligently written blog on the web, if you exclude all the other blogs that get more hits and are stupider because they are written by government and Soros stooges.
Just listen to super-duper-smartie-pooper Keith Olbermann explain it all below the fold, about a minute into the clip.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
It's amazing how easy it is to the be the best in your field, even when all the evidence says exactly the opposite, every morning when the Nielsen overnights come in, when you are a self-important, delusional douchebag like Olbermann.
As Noel Sheppard writes:
Some gormless dingbat mouthbreather named mcjoan at dKos accuses Republicans of having a centrally planned strategy to slow down the healthcare highjack bill by invoking the ghost of Teddy "Namor the Submariner" Kennedy and gutting the bill of all its delicious commie bits. They don't. Republicans do not have any kind of message or strategy enforcement that can do that, not when they have semi-Democrats like McPain and Graham in leadership positions.
I'm talking to mcjoan now.
Know what, you fool? Your progressive douchebag team has what it takes to pass the medical care highjack without a single microgram of... guess. I'm not even going to tell you any more about what you don't need, except that you don't even remotely need it, you clueless, mouthbreathing, drug-addled dingbats.
And I'm not talking about LSD, even though I know what "microgram" makes you think of. Damn hippies!
On a tangent, try reading Atlas Shrugged for a clue, for the ideas, for the sex, for anything but the characterization. You might understand what's going on with the economy and the frustrated and denigrated Townhall crowds a little better than you did. Then you can go back to your tea-bagging and salad-tossing, and I don't really want to hear another clueless blooch out of ya.
So late last night I wrote that John McCain wouldn't retire until after Teddy Kennedy, and less than an hour later Kennedy dies without retiring. Now McPain's going to do the same thing and stay in the Senate until he croaks too. Maybe the ghost of Mary Jo Kopechne was hovering over my shoulder while I was typing that. I'm not saying I got the juju or the magic fingers full of boogety-woogety wee wee woo woo for all you progressives out there, but you know... I'm saying something.
Boo!
Five years ago, few believed that a giant deficit could actually make an economy larger. There was a lot of skepticism that a giant deficit could do such an amazing thing. A deficit that could make an economy larger? **scoff**
But now, five years later, the Obama has borrowed over a trillion dollars from dictators of all ages, all over the world. ...
Okay, I'll admit it. At first, I was among the skeptics. I actually thought trying to create wealth by drowning our nation in an ocean of debt seemed like a really, really shitty idea. Like the guy in the eXtenZe commercial, I seemed ruled by common sense and reality. It just didn't seem possible that spending a shitload of money would actually save our nations economy.
Clearly, I was wrong.
We believe in the rule of law and all that shit, right? So what are we supposed to do when we are around people who are plotting to throw bombs at delegates to a political party's national convention? Are we supposed to stay quiet and let the bombs blow up, killing who they kill, or should we let the law know first so the mass murder plot can be stopped?
Next question. If your friends got caught with bombs they were planning to use to murder people of that political party, what would you do? Would you wonder what the fuck was wrong with them for planning to murder people? Or would you be mad at the guy who told the FBI about it?
What would you do? If you are Katyanne Marie Kibby of Austin, you threaten to kill the FBI informer, who promptly tells the FBI, leading to your arrest and prosecution for crimes that could put you in prison for 20 years and fine you $250 thousand.
Well, maybe they wouldn't actually tape it, but with the sick bastards we've got running the show nowadays, you can never really tell for sure.
Last year, bureaucrats at the VA's National Center for Ethics in Health Care advocated a 52-page end-of-life planning document, "Your Life, Your Choices." It was first published in 1997 and later promoted as the VA's preferred living will throughout its vast network of hospitals and nursing homes. After the Bush White House took a look at how this document was treating complex health and moral issues, the VA suspended its use. Unfortunately, under President Obama, the VA has now resuscitated "Your Life, Your Choices."
"Your Life, Your Choices" presents end-of-life choices in a way aimed at steering users toward predetermined conclusions, much like a political "push poll." For example, a worksheet on page 21 lists various scenarios and asks users to then decide whether their own life would be "not worth living."
The circumstances listed include ones common among the elderly and disabled: living in a nursing home, being in a wheelchair and not being able to "shake the blues." There is a section which provocatively asks, "Have you ever heard anyone say, 'If I'm a vegetable, pull the plug'?" There also are guilt-inducing scenarios such as "I can no longer contribute to my family's well being," "I am a severe financial burden on my family" and that the vet's situation "causes severe emotional burden for my family."
Yeah, that one. Flickr keeps on showing what good little progressive douchebags they are, squarely on the side of the Joker, for the suppression of political speech they don't like, for DMCA harassment, and against satire and fair use [diggable].
Next year will be a bad year for Senate Democratic Leader Harry Reid and his accidental spill, Rory.
Daddy is seeking another term in the Senate. And his demonic milt is running for governor, and is 21 points behind in the Mason-Dixon poll.
Let me repeat, that’s down 21 points in a Democratic Party primary.
Nevadan's want change, their favorite candidates for governor aren't even running for office.
If the governor's election were held today, Nevadan's would prefer that U.S. District Court Judge Brian Sandoval and Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman square off in a general election.
Don't those sun-baked Nevadan's like the Reid family? Don't they appreciate that Las Vegas has a 13% unemployment rate?
Don't they understand that the Grand Douchess of the Senate made sure that putrid pile of Porkulus got pushed through without pause...how's that working, asshole?
Speaking of that Jerk-off Harry Reid...he's always got his hands full....and he's a busy politician too.
Seven other individuals are seeking the GOP nomination to run against the entrenched one.
Mark Amodei (R) State Sen., Ex-State Assemblyman, Attorney & Army Veteran
Sharron Angle (R) Ex-State Assemblywoman, Businesswoman & '06 US Rep. Candidate
John Chachas (R) Investment Banker & Ex-Congressional Intern
Chuck Kozak (R) Attorney & USMC Veteran
Sue Lowden (R) State GOP Chair
Danny Tarkanian (R) Businessman, Attorney, '06 Sec. of State Nominee & '04 State Sen. Nominee
Robin Titus (R) Physician
One of them that catches my eye is Danny Tarkanian, a Las Vegas businessman of Armenian descent. He is seeking the Republican Party nomination to challenge the Senate leader in the 2010 elections.
He is the son of College basketball coach Jerry Tarkanian. Danny Tarkanian previously ran for the Nevada State Senate in 2004 and Nevada Secretary of State in 2006, he lost both times, but in his last run he received over 230,000 votes.
But Sen. Reid, who is running for a fifth term in the Senate, has Not been doing his job long enough to raise $25 million in campaign cash.
Nevada has another senator his name is John Ensign, a Republican who has recently admitted to an extramarital affair...hey John, come over here....you're a fucking douchebag idiot on a stick....but I digress...
Harry Reid really stunk up the joint this week. In a stunning display of crassholery, Reid (and the White House, as well) began to intimate that Democrats were ready to completely ignore both the Republicans and those 'Blue-dog corporate bastards' (the left's words not mine) on healthcare reform. They would instead just go ahead and use the budget reconciliation they set up earlier this year. Meaning they'd only need 50 votes (plus Joe Biden) to approve it.....go ahead punk, Make my day.
Be like Bo Jackson and 'just do it'...you'll quickly be able to chase your dream of becoming the change-maker for the Nickel-slots during the Thrice-yearly Polyester conventions.
But let me tell you something about Harry the soft-boiled egghead, he has in the past shown a propensity for talking tough when he's bellied up to the breakfast bar, then folding like a cheese omelet when it comes time to show some Huevos.
Harry the lily-livered libertine needs to be ejected, emitted and/or expelled from senate as soon as possible.
America is counting on you Nevada!...don't blow it
Things are really in the crapper when a progressive Democrat idiot like Chrissy Matthews and a progressive Republican douchebag like Kathleen Parker can seriously claim that the Republican party is being ruined by racist southern white males. Even better/worse, the douchebag twins said that Sarah Palin, a woman from Alaska who married an American Indian, or Eskimo, or something durn tooting similar and such, in the imagined words of one of those hypothetical racist (and sexist) white southern males, is their leader. Who brought up race first? Oh yeah, it was Mister Tingle himself. Chris, next time you feel a Tingle in your leg you are probably having a stroke. I only say that with the best of intentions, because something has messed up your head and you are as full of shit as a colostomy bag.
One progressive douchebag. One progressive colostomy bag. Don't get them mixed up!
if I was a kook obsessive
I could be pretty progressive
with my towering stacks of papers
and my fridge all full of capers
and my papier mache head
of George Bushhitler, lip tuft-ed
in the Adolf Hitler fashion
more filling than a k-ration.
But a Hitler 'stache on Obama
isn't even allowed in drama.
And I never take a shower
but I shall speak truth to power!
It gets way better. I always like to see another progressive douchebag face the reality behind the veneer of fauxery in their progressive Matrix fantasy world. The only thing better would be to see young Ashley suddenly realize what a cad her Adolescent Crush President was. I know he isn't going to pay her rent, her car payment, or her gas money, no matter what the idiots believed before the election.Sweetheart,
I received your request for assistance.
Ashley, you know I love you dearly and I’m sympathetic to your financial plight. Unfortunately, times have changed. With the election of President Obama, your grandmother and I have had to set forth a bold new economic plan of our own…"The Ashley Economic Empowerment Plan."
The AP and the NYT were right, much as it galls me to say. Sarah Palin didn't identify all the death panels in legislation passed this year. The main death panel legislation, with $1.1 Billion in funding, was passed in the gigantic H.R.1 Porkulus bill that was rushed through legislation and unread by anyone, because it was too effing important. The National Coordinator of Health Information Technology sounds like a reasonable enough job, but it is another effing new, un-constitutional czar position that defines, monitors and enforces doctors' and hospitals' meaningful use of the newly created federal medical information database. HHS is the punishing authority that gets to define the penalties.
Did you notice that this bill created a bunch of appointed positions and boards that have total control over all medical care for everyone in the US, with the exception of federal government employees and certain unions? None of the responsible positions are elected ones because elected politicians, other than me, are effing pussies who are afraid to make a hard decision and take the heat. Have you ever heard of an elected politician who denies that new hip to granny? Hell no! What the elected politician does is talk up a good story about how much he values granny, pushes an expensive experimental procedure on her, and then once the bill comes due the pol rants about how much effing money the thieving doctors and hospitals charged the government.
That's about the effing size of it.
Welcome all to the 'Aunt Flo's College Football Pickem'
This College football pool is not for money. It's for pride.
Can you pick College fb against the spread? Can you pick over .500?
This is your chance. We will be picking 11 games every week, against the spread.
Last year it was super close...
1 pilgrim058 67-64-2 51.15% 133 games picked
1 speciallist 67-64-2 51.15% 133 games picked
3 mikedevinelaw 61-71-1 46.21% 133 games picked
Unbelievably close!....can you pick better than that?
Please join us by emailing me at special@pacbell.net
I will send you instructions. A website will be handling all the details, so it's Super easy!
In what is clearly an idea whose time has come, Kate White, who whines endlessly about "Relationship Angst", started a new series about why you, yes you, should not have sex with her. For some reason, she complains all the way through the column about how some guy who stuck his videos up on YouTube is a douchebag. I guess she is trying to give you, the reader, the full Kate White sexperience, complete with being called a douchebag for leaving the toilet seat up. You know, Kate, I got the idea. You are right. No one in his right mind should have sex with you.
Next up, Maureen Dowd. No one should have sex with her either. But while she is a (bottle?) redhead, just like Kate White, she may not be smart enough to realize that she should write a column about how any beer-goggled horndog who shags her will soon be listening to his purple headed, throbbing love katana begging to be chopped off and thrown in a gasoline fire before once again being tortured within the loins of Dowd. But, as any sensible reader will no doubt agree, that is in fact what any self-respecting tallywhacker would do.
Read more...Hillary Clinton's plate is full.
Bill Clinton threw a birthday for someone very special in Las Vegas. Slick Willy really knows how to throw a party. He picked a great place for it. Dinner at one of the hottest and most pricey restaurants on the Strip...Craftsteak at the MGM Grand hotel.
Where they elevate the concept of a steakhouse by charging $240 for an 8-ounce wagyu New York strip steak. Potatoes and other sides are extra, of course.
All the A-list Douchenistas were there. Former Vice President Al Gore and John D. Podesta. As well as Terry McAuliffe, Paul Begala, Haim Saban....wait, who?..Hollywood executive and significant financial contributor to Mr. Clinton.
Lets not forget Steve Bing, Hollywood media mogul who regularly lends Bill his private jet. Even if Bill wants to take it to North Korea, and poke his big fat nose up in Hillary's business.
So who would Bill throw such a lavish party for? That's right, himself. Turns out he just turned 63.
Why was Bill having it now, when his birthday isn't until Aug 19th? Why would he invite Algore? Why would Algore come to Clinton's b-day, unless there was some kind of manmade ego cooling or some sort of a rapprochement between them.
I think I remember, I was sitting in Harry Reid's kitchen after doing his Mom....Harry wandered in and mentioned something about a 'National Clean Energy Summit' that he was throwing together. Bill Clinton was one of the marquee speakers. Does Algore know that both China and India told him to go bugger off as far as capping emissions go? Did Algore remember to turn off all his lights at the mansion? Does Algore jerk-off to Inconvenient Truth?
I gotta give credit, two events with one trip to Vegas...props to all those guys for using their private-jet fuel so efficiently.
It weighs heavy on Hillary's heart that she can't be there watching over Bill, but, like her grand derriere, she carries her huge burden without complaint.
Hillary has to be strong as she deftly manages the unbearable weight of her massive workload. Plus, folks always seize on these episodes as evidence of further troubles in the substantially gravid Clinton marriage.
U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, left, is seen letting housing project manger Patricia Matolengwe, right, try on some of her clothes during a visit on the outskirts of Cape Town, South Africa(AP Photo/Phil Graves)
President Jacob Zuma’s administration of South Africa has overturned the failed AIDS polices of his predecessor, Thabo Mbeki, and in so doing has reversed damage, saved lives and reinstated good relations with the international community. South Africa, with its enormous AIDS problem, had been conducting AIDS policies that were based on prejudice rather than science.
This week, Hillary welcomed the new South African governments approach to dealing with the HIV and AIDS problem, after years in which SA officials denied the link between the two and even promoted ‘cures’ such as eating beets and garlic. Hillary politely disagreed saying a parturient amount of eating can be a great way of dealing with most any problem.
"Is that the catering truck I hear?, get me something with bacon on it" Clinton said at a US-funded clinic where emaciated patients receive antiretroviral drugs.
So,Hillary continues her elephantine march through an 11-day tour of Africa, speaking in the conflict-torn Democratic Republic of Congo, which faces an epidemic of rape and sexual violence.
Now either Hillary hasn't been laid for quite some time or she's having the painters in for hummer week, cause she had a hair trigger...especially when someone mentioned her care-free husband. (who was probably naked doing Tequila belly shots as they spoke)
Maybe she misheard the question? Hillary's thick skin strained against the faux-polyester material of her tight-fitting pantsuit as the French translator got it wrong, translating "what does your husband think" for "what does your president think."
"Wait, you want to know what my husband thinks? My husband is not the secretary of State...I am," she snapped. "You ask my opinion, I will tell you my opinion. I'm not going to be channeling my husband."
"It's inappropriate for a diplomat to be so harshly personal," said Robert Schadler, senior fellow in public diplomacy at the American Foreign Policy Council, "You can't imagine the great secretaries of state with expressing that unnecessary personal view when they would be overseas and talking to a foreign audience."
I think Clinton's outburst was a reaction to her struggle to remain comfortable in a chair that was barely holding together under the substantial heftiness of her-thighness, as well as the fact that the first six months as top diplomat have been overshadowed by her husband's successful mission last week bring home two American journalists from a North Korean prison.
Hillary Clinton has struggled for decades to balance her weight, her interests and her ambitions against her husband's.
She was sidelined in June with a broken elbow, which luckily didn't interfere with her multi-course meals, but it did keep her from accompanying President Obama on some high-profile foreign trips. Rumor has it she can consume mass-quantities of Honey-roasted peanuts. Incidently, this is not the first time people have asked for her husband's point of view.
Speaking of her husband, Hillary unveiled a $17 million plan Tuesday to fight the widespread sexual violence in eastern Congo, the problem she said was "an evil that really hits home."
The corpulent cabinet secretary, speaking from a reinforced stage, during a visit to Goma, the epicenter of war-torn Congo, she said she would send military folks to help train Congolese police officers to crack down on rapists. She also said the American government would help train gynecologists and supply rape victims with video cameras.....to document the violence...What the Fuck?
"This problem is too big for one country to solve alone, I'm not here to leave a business card, but I can't wave a magic wand either"...again, What the Fuck?
Hey Hillary, did you know that the Congo has been awash in bloodshed for more than a decade. You don't have time for another bag of cookies. Recent Congo-Rwanda military operations along the border have provoked revenge attacks and driven more than 500,000 people from their homes. Dozens of villages of have been burned, hundreds of villagers massacred and countless women raped. In fact, hundreds of thousands of women have been sexually assaulted.
Put down the Nachos Bell Grande and pay attention. Rapes of men have begun to increase as well.
When Clinton lugged her abundant and copious frame to Africa, she promised she would shine a light on the civilian deaths and endemic sexual violence and that she would call on the government of Congo, whose own soldiers share some blame in many of the abuses, to do a better job of protecting its own people. I gather that's where the Video cameras come in...Heck of a job, Hillary.
You know you want to.
And if that doesn't work, try it here.
"Mean" Eugene Green (Douchebag, TX) is shivering with fear like a stack of commie-red jello slices on a subway seat at the idea that people might get upset at the thought of the healthcare high-jack he supports. He's such a sissy he doesn't want any of them anywhere near him, so he's going to keep those paid Republican protesters who get bussed in from out of district out of his Town Hall meeting. You see, old "Meany" is going to check photo IDs to prevent people who are not allowed to vote in his district from attending his precious Town Hall.
Lookee here.
Town hall meetings are one of my favorite ways to communicate with constituents. I have held hundreds during my years of service in Congress and always welcomed everyone to attend. Unfortunately, due to a coordinated effort to disrupt our town hall meetings, we will be restricting further attendance to residents of the 29th Congressional District and verifying residency by requiring photo identification. Whether individuals agree or disagree, we must maintain order to have a civil discussion of the issues. While I regret this restriction, it is necessary for the safety and consideration of our constituents. Those who do not reside in the 29th Congressional should contact their Member of Congress to voice any concerns that they may have on issues before Congress.
The face of the IVAW is one of veterans who have turned against their country. I don't take lightly that the members of this group fought for the United States of America however I do take umbrage with their means for ending the war. They, like John Francois Kerry, joined groups who forced the war to go on longer than was necessary.
He started talking with the sweet-talking side of his forked tongue, all lovey dovey and slick, and finished the speech with the bullying thug side, like an abusive boyfriend. He sure is dreamy isn't he, with those half-closed bedroom eyes and the muscly physique. He's like one of those boyfriends who makes you seem like you're the center of the world until he has you where he wants you, and then he treats you like shit. Uhhh, I'm not gay, but I can imagine... <blush>
How can anybody trust him after seeing this?
What a douchebag, and a dreamboat! But are you sure you want to get back together with
h/t: HotAir.
Shorter Jason Linkins.
How does Keith Olbermann [still] have a job?And for your years of striving, Keith Olbermann, he of the chin that fits so naturally between his thumb and forefinger, of the glasses to signify his intelligence, of the ponderous syntax, stentorian voice, and the adolescent man-crushes on Murrow, Cronkite and Obama. Yes, that Olbermann. The male Ann Coulter, only with half the balls. That Olbermann. Keith, we are pleased to be able to present you with the inaugural copy of the award you inspired.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Miss Wolfe is planning to marry an amusement park ride, and it isn't even a roller coaster like the Phoenix at Knoebels (one of the top 10 roller coasters in the US). She is in love with a wussy ride. She likes to ride it and kiss it on every surface she can reach when she's riding. She keeps spare nuts and bolts from it and keeps a photo of it on her ceiling. The presumably lucky ride, named "1001 Nachts by Weber" makes his residence in Knoebels Amusement Park in Pennsylvania. The blushing ride-bride-to-be, who plans to take the ride's last name of Weber, says she loves him as much as all women love their husbands. Perhaps. But not likely.When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.
Aunt Flo is in town all week and I'll be staying at the red roof inn.
Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., looking spent and smoking a cigarette as he left the doctors office, announced on Friday that he has prostate cancer. It seems he's had a growing problem, and at first, his doctor couldn't put his finger on it. But after countless tests, they made the proper diagnosis and he expects to make a full recovery.
"As a member of Congress, I have great health insurance. I've had the best fingers in medicine available to probe for any and all potential problems in, up and around my plump and well kissed ass. I was able to seek the opinions of multiple highly skilled doctors, we did the test over and over and over....hey, it's the only way I can choose the treatment that’s right for me. I'm a little sore, but my prognosis is excellent."
Like most Dems, Dodd has been pushing to get the disaster, otherwise known as the 'socialized medicine bill' passed.
There is one big problem though...so batten down the hatches and tell your husband that it's gonna be all anal sex week, cause I'm gonna start ragging...
Turns out, Congress has exempted itself from having to participate in the plan that they are proposing to shove down the throat of the citizenry. The plan itself is probably not something either Dodd or Kennedy would be able to swallow without gagging.
Chris Dodd, who turned 65 in May, has been temporarily chairing the Senate health committee for 77-year-old Sen. Edward “Ted” Kennedy, D-Chapp. Kennedy has barely moved from his bed...err....is 'working a reduced schedule' since being diagnosed with brain cancer last year.
Which is like some sort of nasty karma that I hope to never create for myself...but I digress...
Known only to those who have read it, the bill blatantly admits health care would be rationed.
Let me ask you a question, Would Dodd and Kennedy's treatment be rationed if they were using the health care plan they are trying to inflict on everyone else?
Don't be such a stupid douchebag!
Due to their ages, requests for multiple and unlimited digital rectal exams, not to mention surgery, would Not have been immediately scheduled.
Chances are they would instead be visited by a government cost-cutter to counsel them on end-of-life services. Dodd would have to learn how to live with balls the size of grapefruit and Kennedy would learn not to worry when spinal fluid starts leaking out his eyes. We wouldn't want to waste money on extended treatment.
And another thing, they would also be competing for rationed medical care with illegal aliens...
"My hope is that we will pass the healthcare bill so that every one, even illegal immigrant young men, can enjoy the breathtaking tenderness of America's long-fingered doctors."
You hear that? That's the sound of young immigrant men Running for the border! Who says we have to deport anyone...just 'snap' on some gloves and watch them disappear.
And...How will Barry pay for all these extra examinations?
Obama has stated he will not raise taxes to pay for his socialized health care plan. The bill actually states, "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax imposed by this chapter..." Hi, he lies.
Resident Obama will not only require every persons medical records to be accessible through the internet, it will also have direct real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfers.
Resident Obama and his cronies will decide whether an illness or injury is chronic, progressive, life-limiting, life-threatening or terminal and will decide whether you're admitted to a skilled nursing facility, a long-term care facility or a hospice program.
Resident Obama would set provisions for "community-based medical home" defined as nonprofit community-based or state-based organizations that provide medical home services and employ community health workers, as determined appropriate by one of his many Czars. These would be new federal funding opportunities for organizations such as the National Council of La Raza, ACORN and AARP.
Call for a code red, there's communists in the summer house...that lying SOB should have been dishonorably discharged from the Uterine Navy 47 years ago.
This is war. This is not arts and crafts week at Panty Camp, it's Game Day for the Crimson Tide, so get out there call your Congress critters and Fight.
I became confused when I heard the word 'service' used with these agencies.
This is not what I thought 'service' meant.And this is the way they ring
the bells in Bedlam(from Ringing the Bells by Anne Sexton)
And this is the way they ring
the bells in Bedlam
and this is the bell-lady
who comes each Tuesday morning
to give us a music lesson
and because the attendants make you go
and because we mind by instinct,
like bees caught in the wrong hive,
we are the circle of crazy ladies
who sit in the lounge of the mental house
and smile at the smiling woman
who passes us each a bell,
who points at my hand
that holds my bell, E flat,
and this is the gray dress next to me
who grumbles as if it were special
to be old, to be old,
and this is the small hunched squirrel girl
on the other side of me
who picks at the hairs over her lip,
who picks at the hairs over her lip all day,
and this is how the bells really sound,
as untroubled and clean
as a workable kitchen,
and this is always my bell responding
to my hand that responds to the lady
who points at me, E flat;
and although we are not better for it,
they tell you to go. And you do.(Ringing the Bells by Anne Sexton)
How do you live with yourself? How do you not choke on the bile filled projection which comes out of your ignorant yap?
Seriously...you compared hardworking Americans, whose only wish is that you leave them the hell alone [including our HealthCare], to Nazi's!!
Yes Nancy...we are all just a bunch of teabaggin redneck Nazi's carrying swastikas*. But we are not.
We are you worst fucking nightmare. We are an informed electorate who you and your fellow douches on Capitol Hill have managed to finally push into a corner. Well my personal fight or flight instinct leans towards fight...so that is what I shall do.
You've done gone and woken up the Tree Ents...and you have done so in ignorance of their strength.
Now pay close attention Nancy because I want you to understand what you are about to see...This is a metaphorical expression of what I want done to your policies
Douche Baggins McGee...out!!
* Ever heard of Godwin's Law...Debate FAIL
Again for background go here.
Below you will find a 4 part audio of Dan Riehl with Eddie Burke discussing the Palin Divorce [among other rumors] rumor created by The Northern Douche.
Not a lot of douche filled commentary on this one...just spreading the word.
Oh...did I mention that you shouldn't piss off Stacy McCain and Dan Riehl.
Ok...just wanted to make sure.
Douche Baggins McGee here...signing out!!
It's almost sad, really. The way you were begging her, Chris; pleading for Barbara Boxer to assure you that, yes, those mean people protesting the President's plans were simply a part of a scam. A put-on run by the Pharmaceutical and Insurance industries. There couldn't be any real, normal people who disagree with Obama. He's—why, he's perfect. He's The One.
It's okay, Chris. We've all been in love. Blind to those faults pointed out by others. Ready to fight to the death anyone who dares besmirch the name or reputation of our Beloved.
How it must astound you, Chris, that there could possibly be people who cannot see Barack for the warm, wonderful leader he so obviously is. That they could be anything but stunned by the beauty and confidence he radiates.
But you... you can see Him as He is, can't you, Chris? As he stands there, the very essence of power and authority. And then his voice. Oh, if you could still get it up, how that Voice would send you over the edge!
Ah, but how right this secret love feels. The sidelong glances. That knowing, warm smile. You pay your own tributes, do you not? As you sit in your dressing room, you know you should be preparing for your show, but, after all, the President's Weekly Prime Time address is about to begin. And the lights go down. You light the special candles. Box of tissue on your right -- just in case. And when the President speaks, you close your eyes and imagine. The world fades away, and he's talking to you. Just to you. That familiar tingle runs up your leg, and in your minds eye, you are with Him alone, at kneeling at His feet. He talks that wonderful, beautiful talk, and you, in tribute ... — but for now the fantasy will have to do.
At least you have your dreams, until that day finally comes. The day when you finally throw caution to the wind and work up the courage to put on that blue dress, that dark beret, and knock, ever so gently, on His door.
Check the Riehl World and The Other McCain for the details.
A quick recap...
Someone starts a rumor that Palin is seeking divorce.
Dan Riehl and R.S. McCain expose the douchebag who started the rumor*.
Of course this little amount of fame is not enough to quench the vast chasm of douchebaggery in which Jesse "Gryphen" Griffin lives.
Not understanding, apparently because of his lower than room temperature I.Q., the type of people he was up against...he cried foul.
In doing so, he questioned the journalistic integrity of both Riehl and McCain....Dumb Move!!
So there is where things seem to stand today....Gryphen is still a lying douchebag, who loves to watch porn [preferably amateur] and teach Kindergarten while bashing on scary powerful conservative women who frighten him.
One piece of advice for Dan and Stacy....always wear gloves when squeezing a douchebag.
Go read Dan and Stacy's blogs...now!!
Douche Baggins McGee
* Seriously...how lonely and insignificant must a man feel to attempt to destroy a marriage just because the woman scares him? And somehow this douchebag is trusted with the education of Kindergartners.
There are politicians whose very appearance can make you to turn your gaze in disgust, uttering the word "douche" in a long drawn out breath.
Whether it's Democrats in power not allowing time to really read and understand the proposed Porkulus and Healthcare Plans or those same Democrats wanting the American people to shut up while promising to clean their vaginas of unwanted odors.
The Congressional Budget Office strongly discourages Douches, warning that they can lead to recession, currency devaluation, and a hole so big, you'll have to tie a 2x4 to your ankles to keep from falling in.
Barack Obama has a variety of negative qualities, such as arrogance and engaging in obnoxious and/or irritating actions....yes, he's super-douchey.
Robert Gibbs, official White House douche-nozzle, told the press today that the Republicans are sending "Right Wing Extremists and Teabaggers" to disrupt the Town Hall Meetings being held by Senators and Congressmen in their home states.
Teabaggers......Fuck off Gibbs.
Temporary Democrat and Republican critters are hearing loud and clear from the people in their states. They don't like Obama's policies and his rush to push them through.
Videos show angry (what's wrong with angry?) Town Hall Meeting attendees asking Resident Obama and temporary Representatives if they will drop their gold-plated government healthcare, bendover and use the healthcare program that will be inflicted everyday Americans.
The temporary Democrats and the Resident Obama are hiding the real costs of their plans, while they try to brainwash the American people into believing that the plans are cost effective and can be used after intercourse as a method of birth control.
Obama is pushing for "end of life counseling for the elderly"...does it mean the elderly will not get prescriptions, medical care, self-cleaning and natural bacterial culture they need to stay alive?
Our President is not listening because he apparently does not care what the American people believe in and want for our country. More later.
Not that anybody has given me any sympathy about it (jerks), but old Blago Bloggo has been talking hemorrhoids more often than most people do. This is not just because they are both funny and look exactly like Harry Reid. The giga-progressive regime currently in power is giving me hemorrhoids.
I hate Lying Democrat Douchebags because they plan to turn the Health Care system into a gigantic domestic spying agency that knows everything about everybody and disclaims all responsibility for protecting that information from every Harry, Dick, and John (Reid, Durbin, and Podesta, naturally) who wants to use it to rip me off. Ever since they got this idea, it's been making my bunghole twinge. My ass hurts like hell! I don't have a size 11 poop chute either, mine is petite. But I know it's gonna get ravaged by Obamacare. And now I find out that the White House is recruiting informers to spy on their fellow citizens and turn them in to the White House if they say anything against the diktat of the Party Secretary, Uncle Joebarack Stalinbama.
OK, you sneaky informers, this is just for you. Listen up. I looooove the idea of having my current healthcare insurance taken away and being replaced with rebranded Medicare, so I get to wait another goddamn six months to have this Obamacare-caused hemorrhoid looked at! I LOVE IT SO MUCH I COULD PUKE ALL OVER YOUR ENVIRO-WEENIE HONEY OATS AND CLUSTERS CEREAL!
And that's why I hate Lying Democrat Douchebags: Their well intentioned idiotic plans that always lead straight to HEMORRHOID HELL!
What are progressive douchebags like Dick Turban (Douchebag, IL) most scared of?
Jesse Griffin is a douchebag. This much at least is clear.
Our subject today is...Jesse Griffin a.k.a. Gryphen (see here for background). This is the big fat mendacious scumbag liar who last weekend spread the rumor that Sarah Palin was getting a divorce because he is a loser who can't get enough of smearing her.
This story has been debunked by Dan Riehl and R.S. McCain, but the story is far from over.
Upon receiving notice that legal proceedings were beginning against him, and his self-outing as a part-time kindergarten teacher and Progressive Douchebag, he predictably cried foul and impugned the character of both McCain and Riehl. Waaah, waah, waah.
The first thing I learned as part of my Douchebag reform program was that you don't go to a gunfight with a knife or a battle of wits with the brains that... well.. that God gave to Jesse Griffin. Apparently micro-cephalic Jesse Griffin never learned those lessons, which is why he is feeling like a hemorrhoid in a sandpaper factory at this moment in time.
Oh...and the fact that he is a un-reformed douchebag, as is apparent from some of the thought free lunacy he he writes, like this...
Quick hide your children! They are getting ready to feed them into Vietraq's bottomless pit of death and destruction.
I am teaching my boys to wear dresses and swish when they walk because being ignorant or drug addicted is no longer a guarantee of being passed over. If your not willing to suck cock then pack up your going to Iraq!
Vietraq... is that supposed to be funny or insightful? He may be Alaska's model metrosexual parent, but what a douchebag! At least I hope he's writing as a parent. I shudder to think that he might be talking about his kindergarten boys in that last paragraph! Yuk!
Blaggo Bloggo ... out!
Read more...We are even better when we keep it under 140 characters.
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