29 August 2009

Megan Fox: Progressive Cheesecake Watch

This picture of Megan Fox is a perfect metaphor for Hollywood. It looks pretty until it opens its mouth, and then all the shark teeth come out and threaten to bite your head off. So anyway, do you still think she's hot?

Remember how she got rid of the boney look by eating red velvet cake? Or how Megan said she'd try to get the Decepticons to kill off the middle of America if they'd leave her neighborhood alone? Oh, and Paris... Or how she loves the idea of going all lesbo like Lindsey, but with a porn queen.

You know, you can still think she's hot. I do. It should be obvious since she is the very first hotty to be featured on our shameless Rule 5 hit-mongering Progressive Cheesecake Watch. She's pretty on the outside, right?



On the left is a mockup of her as WonderWoman because she said she'd gladly be responsible for offing half of America if her neighborhood (and Paris) didn't get bothered. Some people are twisted, aren't they?

On the right is her in love with herself in the mirror. How fucking apt! Narcissus was turned into a flower for gazing at  his beautiful bod. What will Megan turn into, other than a leather-skinned old hag?

Too much sun, Miss Fox.

And here we see her on the left, as a jaw-droppingly hot slice. On the right she is the she-hulk. I can't see that working out very well, but even a progressive douchebag has gotta work. She doesn't have other choices than the She-Hulk movie if she cannot act and won't do porn instead of doing porn stars.

UPDATE: Wonderful mention at R. S. McCain, but there's one correction to it. The lead photo isn't a photoshop. It is a publicity still from Megan Fox's new movie, Jennifer's Body, in which she plays a super sexy ghoul or some such monster.


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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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