07 August 2009

Congress exempt from Healthscare and Kick-the-Bucket counseling

Aunt Flo is in town all week and I'll be staying at the red roof inn.

Sen. Chris Dodd, D-Conn., looking spent and smoking a cigarette as he left the doctors office, announced on Friday that he has prostate cancer. It seems he's had a growing problem, and at first, his doctor couldn't put his finger on it. But after countless tests, they made the proper diagnosis and he expects to make a full recovery.

"As a member of Congress, I have great health insurance. I've had the best fingers in medicine available to probe for any and all potential problems in, up and around my plump and well kissed ass. I was able to seek the opinions of multiple highly skilled doctors, we did the test over and over and over....hey, it's the only way I can choose the treatment that’s right for me. I'm a little sore, but my prognosis is excellent."

Like most Dems, Dodd has been pushing to get the disaster, otherwise known as the 'socialized medicine bill' passed.

There is one big problem though...so batten down the hatches and tell your husband that it's gonna be all anal sex week, cause I'm gonna start ragging...

Turns out, Congress has exempted itself from having to participate in the plan that they are proposing to shove down the throat of the citizenry. The plan itself is probably not something either Dodd or Kennedy would be able to swallow without gagging.

Chris Dodd, who turned 65 in May, has been temporarily chairing the Senate health committee for 77-year-old Sen. Edward “Ted” Kennedy, D-Chapp. Kennedy has barely moved from his bed...err....is 'working a reduced schedule' since being diagnosed with brain cancer last year.

Which is like some sort of nasty karma that I hope to never create for myself...but I digress...

Known only to those who have read it, the bill blatantly admits health care would be rationed.

Let me ask you a question, Would Dodd and Kennedy's treatment be rationed if they were using the health care plan they are trying to inflict on everyone else?

Don't be such a stupid douchebag!

Due to their ages, requests for multiple and unlimited digital rectal exams, not to mention surgery, would Not have been immediately scheduled.

Chances are they would instead be visited by a government cost-cutter to counsel them on end-of-life services. Dodd would have to learn how to live with balls the size of grapefruit and Kennedy would learn not to worry when spinal fluid starts leaking out his eyes. We wouldn't want to waste money on extended treatment.

And another thing, they would also be competing for rationed medical care with illegal aliens...

"My hope is that we will pass the healthcare bill so that every one, even illegal immigrant young men, can enjoy the breathtaking tenderness of America's long-fingered doctors."

You hear that? That's the sound of young immigrant men Running for the border! Who says we have to deport anyone...just 'snap' on some gloves and watch them disappear.

And...How will Barry pay for all these extra examinations?

Obama has stated he will not raise taxes to pay for his socialized health care plan. The bill actually states, "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax imposed by this chapter..." Hi, he lies.

Resident Obama will not only require every persons medical records to be accessible through the internet, it will also have direct real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfers.

Resident Obama and his cronies will decide whether an illness or injury is chronic, progressive, life-limiting, life-threatening or terminal and will decide whether you're admitted to a skilled nursing facility, a long-term care facility or a hospice program.

Resident Obama would set provisions for "community-based medical home" defined as nonprofit community-based or state-based organizations that provide medical home services and employ community health workers, as determined appropriate by one of his many Czars. These would be new federal funding opportunities for organizations such as the National Council of La Raza, ACORN and AARP.

Call for a code red, there's communists in the summer house...that lying SOB should have been dishonorably discharged from the Uterine Navy 47 years ago.

This is war. This is not arts and crafts week at Panty Camp, it's Game Day for the Crimson Tide, so get out there call your Congress critters and Fight.

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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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