07 August 2009

Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, but you're not marrying a carnival ride you twisted freak

When Amy Wolfe was young and asked who she would marry her parents might have quoted Doris Day to her but I am certain neither they nor she expected que sera, to actually sera.
Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

http://www.knoebels.com/images/rides/1001nacht1.jpgMiss Wolfe is planning to marry an amusement park ride, and it isn't even a roller coaster like the Phoenix at Knoebels (one of the top 10 roller coasters in the US). She is in love with a wussy ride. She likes to ride it and kiss it on every surface she can reach when she's riding. She keeps spare nuts and bolts from it and keeps a photo of it on her ceiling. The presumably lucky ride, named "1001 Nachts by Weber" makes his residence in Knoebels Amusement Park in Pennsylvania. The blushing ride-bride-to-be, who plans to take the ride's last name of Weber, says she loves him as much as all women love their husbands. Perhaps. But not likely.

One thing we do know is that they do not need to read this flowchart to tell if they are going to have sex.

Shit. I can't go on. This is stupid.

She is nuts! And anybody who encourages her insanity by pretending it's acceptable is doing harm to her.

This is EXACTLY what is wrong with America. People know fucking well that it is WRONG to have feelings for an amusement park ride, let alone marry it, and they aren't doing or saying a single goddamn thing. They play along like the 33-year-old Miss Wolfe is just eccentric. She isn't eccentric or troubled, she is bat-freaking-shit insane! The reason we don't send illegal migrants back across the border is this refusal to say some things are just wrong. There are wrong things. We all know that. Murder and theft and slander are wrong. But the first instinct of many Americans is to defend crooks against accusations, no matter what. That's why we don't execute serial killers in America until they have burned through millions of dollars of taxpayer's money in court costs. That's why we are giving fucking terrorists captured on the battlefield on the other side of the world Miranda Rights as if they were stopped for a busted tail light on Main St. They are not Americans. They don't get Miranda Rights. We Americans do all sorts of other crazy things too, all because we don't want to take a fucking stand and say THIS IS WRONG.

We give newts, beetles, and minnows rights to property before the human owners of that property. We let hippies sue manufacturing companies to death for environmental excuses and drive them out of the country, then we wonder why the fuck we have so many factory workers who can't find jobs. Americans know how to run an economy that makes everybody wealthier than anyone except kings and queens in other countries, yet we vote in politicians who promise they will dismantle our wealth producing economy and replace it with mandatory paid volunteer jobs, whatever the fuck that means. We have seen communist economics fail again and again and we don't stand up to communists and tell them THEY ARE WRONG before chasing them out of positions where we grant them authority over us and our families. We don't hold our own elected officials responsible and vote them out of office when they betray us. Why not? Are we pussies or what? We pretend it's right for a woman to marry a woman, or a man to marry a man, and it is not. Marriage is for the production of children, who will be the future. That is its purpose. And a man marrying a man is never going to hear the patter of little feet who are of him and his "partner." Two men can't get together and create life. Not yet, at least. And don't even get me started on cloning.

So are we going to stand up like men and say it's wrong? Or are we going to sing ourselves to sleep with Que Sera? As if we were little girls suckling our mama's teat...
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.


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Why pick on Progressives?

Progressives are neo-barbarian, luddite fools who want to replace all scientific progress with their failed, pseudo-scientific, utopian fairy tale and take us back to the paleolithic period. In other words they are douchebags.

Q: Do you have a problem with Progressive Insurance?

We don't have a problem with their insurance product. But the company is also a major giver of money to politically progressive causes, and because of that the owners and managers are total douchebags.

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